Well ev'ry day at the salon you can see him arrive
He stood six foot six, weighed one-o-five
He's kinda narrow at the shoulders, narrow in the hips
With a curl in his hair and a smile on his lips
Big Bruce...........Big Bad Bruce
No-one seemed to know where Bruce came from
He kinda swished into town and stayed all alone
Never said much, kind o' quiet and shy
And when he spoke at all, it was just to say "Hi"
Big Bruce...........Big Bad Bruce
Same say he came from New Orleans
Where he had a social group called the Cajun Queens
Some say Hollywood or Beverly Hills
Where he got arrested for passin' three-dollar bills
That's Bruce
Then came the day o' that terrible fire
Something went wrong in the number five dryer
Into the chaos of those matronly caves
Went Big Bad Bruce, a-just a-fannin' the flames
Big Bruce...........Big Bad Brucey-Woosey
Well, the flames grew higher and the fire got worse
And someone heard Brucey cry, "Mercy, I forgot my purse!"
Into the fire with a squeal and a shout
We waited an hour, but he never came out
Poor Bruce..........Poor old Bruce
Where that salon once stood is a grocery store
But his name will live for evermore
In the annals of time and in the hall of fame
As a gay young cat who went down in flames
Big Bruce
You might say this is a big kind o' fairy tale
He stood six foot six, weighed one-o-five
He's kinda narrow at the shoulders, narrow in the hips
With a curl in his hair and a smile on his lips
Big Bruce...........Big Bad Bruce
No-one seemed to know where Bruce came from
He kinda swished into town and stayed all alone
Never said much, kind o' quiet and shy
And when he spoke at all, it was just to say "Hi"
Big Bruce...........Big Bad Bruce
Same say he came from New Orleans
Where he had a social group called the Cajun Queens
Some say Hollywood or Beverly Hills
Where he got arrested for passin' three-dollar bills
That's Bruce
Then came the day o' that terrible fire
Something went wrong in the number five dryer
Into the chaos of those matronly caves
Went Big Bad Bruce, a-just a-fannin' the flames
Big Bruce...........Big Bad Brucey-Woosey
Well, the flames grew higher and the fire got worse
And someone heard Brucey cry, "Mercy, I forgot my purse!"
Into the fire with a squeal and a shout
We waited an hour, but he never came out
Poor Bruce..........Poor old Bruce
Where that salon once stood is a grocery store
But his name will live for evermore
In the annals of time and in the hall of fame
As a gay young cat who went down in flames
Big Bruce
You might say this is a big kind o' fairy tale