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The Life (of a Mary Sue) Lyrics

It was love at first sight
Inside Hogwarts school that night
When she walked up to the common room
And he was waiting there for her.
He said, "Malfoy thinks you're hot."
"And Ron really thinks you're really hot."
"And for reasons unexplained to the readers
I think you're hot too."
And she smiled as their lips met.
A scene we won't forget,
'Cause it was close to nineteen paragraphs long.

That's the life of a Mary Sue
With beautiful blue eyes; girls envy you.
Harry's 'transfer student' lover
But death eater on the cover
Makes me wish my name was 'Cristancia' Potter too That's the life of a Mary Sue.

You made the Quidditch Team
Impressed everyone it seems.
And for your uniform ripped black jeans,
and a Nine-Inch Nails T-shirt.
In love with Fred and George it's true,
But Ron is also in love with you,
And so is: Draco, Harry, Bill, Charlie, Percy, Crabbe, Goyle, Terry Boot, Zacharias Smith, Michael Corner, Neville, Seamus, Dean, Colin Creevy, Dennis Creevy, Ernie Macmillian
And Justin Finch-Fletchley, too.
That's the life of a Mary Sue
You punk-goth Slytherin; boys worship you.
You're obsessed with poor Ron Weasley
And our interests waned so easily,
Lack of grammar really doesn't bother you
That's the life of a Mary Sue.
Ol' fanfiction.net's to its knees
It pleads "God, stick to canon!" so desperately.
And we can't take it anymore
Anymore

That's the life of a Mary Sue.
Nobody likes your stories but you.
PotterSues will keep on flaming
And you'll do all the blaming
Saying, "Nobody writes a better story than you."

That's the life of a Mary Sue
That's the life reading Potter Sues
That's the life of a Gary Stu
That's the life of a Mary Sue
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