Who's to say I can escape feeling this low? I don't know. And I've tried to remind myself that nothing matters, but I can't. It just felt good to hurt again, if just for a second. I've been so let down and distracted for months now, and each time I write, I ask myself to change. But I sit down and my problems are the same. But who's to blame if I'm alone all the time? The burden must be mine. I know I can't change. I'm weighed down by selfishness. But this doesn't sound like guilt. This is false contrition. It doesn't hurt anymore to know I won't change. I find comfort knowing no one's listening. No use in hurting or trying to be perfect. I know I'm facing the worst, and I deserve it.