X-M@$ Lyrics

Ho Ho Ho Ho!

There ain't nothing more depressing than a pine tree
Gussied up with candy canes and b****
Those carolers have kept me up for hours
It's Merry Christmas seeping through my walls
Now I'm no wiccan commie nut or nothing
But there's one d*** holiday that I can't stand
It ain't Halloween or Thanksgiving or even April Fools
But it'll surely make a fool out of every man
HA

If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
You know where to stick those jingle bells
If I ain't hammered it ain't hanukkah
And all you m************ go to hell
If I ain't c***eyed then it ain't Kwanzaa
Joy to the world and jack and c**e
If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
Cause I ain't never anything but broke
Now every year the malls are just a madhouse
Full of empty pockets, thoughts and smiles
Just the smell of Eggnog makes me vomit
And those colored lights are f****** infantile
I think we collectively as a people
Should rise against this corporate jolly noise
And tell the world:
"Let's buy some peace and quiet for a change"
Before we spend it all on f****** toys.
HA
So if I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
You know where to stick those jingle bells
If I ain't hammered it ain't hanukkah
Fa la la la la go f*** yourself!
If I ain't c***eyed it ain't Kwanzaa
Joy to the world of getting stoned
If I ain't drunk then it ain't Christmas
So leave this god d*** scrooge the f*** alone.
HA

MERRY f****** CHRISTMAS!