Ballad of the Green Guitar Lyrics

I had a dream my green guitar
Was the twelve-stringed kind
Each string had a double
One for body, one for might
This instrument was hard to play
So I practiced every day
I knew I must be dreaming
So I put my green twelve-stringed guitar away

I had a dream my green guitar
Had strings that numbered twelve
I kept it locked up in a box
I hid behind a shelf

This instrument was rare
And I didn't want to share
But when I went to show it off
My green twelve-stringed guitar, it wasn't there

I called up the police
To report this horrible theft
A detective came to check
If any clues had been left

"Aha", he said, "the thief
Left behind his perfect set of teeth."
A chill ran up my spine
Those teeth, they were my cousin Keith's
The sky was black, thunder cracked
The rain came down in sheets
And flooded down the gutters
Of the Beachwood Canyon streets

I was running after Keith
I slipped and I went sliding down the hill
I knew to get my green twelve-stringed guitar
My cousin I would have to kill

I was driving in my van
I was feeling low as sin
When I saw my cousin Keith
Flash his evil toothless grin

I floored the gas, his face grew large
The windshield wipers lashed against the rain
I heard a thump
I knew my green twelve-stringed guitar was mine again
I had a dream my green guitar
Had twelve strings instead of six
I knew if it got broke
It'd be impossible to fix

I wiped off all the blood and mud and crud
And put twelve new strings on
My green twelve-stringed guitar looked good as new
But the evil wasn't gone

I had a dream my green guitar
Had strings in even dozen
I took the d*** thing down to hell
Said "I'll trade this for my cousin!"

The devil saw my green twelve-stringed guitar
And he said "Son, you got a deal."
But don't forget I'll always be close by
Whenever you're behind the wheel