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Wicked and Weird (radio edit) Lyrics

Driving with a yellow dog, I-95
He's got a smile on his face and big shiny eyes
Up at a decent hour, I never ate yet
Got a little Johnny Cash in the old tape deck
Nothing in the trunk but some base ball gloves
a pair of jumper cables and a set of golf clubs
blanket on the back seat we're in rough shape
sunroof held on with a bit of duct tape
Looking for a gas station, better make a list
Fill it up with regular, I need to take a p***
s**y girl air freshener, snacks and a pinwheel
top up the fluids, clean the bugs off the windshield
not a care in the world, not a how, and a why
no destination, not a cloud in the sky
back on the road not a moment too soon
dish ran away with some other spoon

wicked and weird I'm a road hog with an old dog
singing slow songs trying to hold on
wicked and weird I'm a rat fish
tryin' to practice doing back flips on your mattress

Hole in the m***ler, ghost on the shoulder
cough drops, loose change in the beverage holder
to roll down the window you gotta use a wrench
Been thinking about brushing up on my French
Right there in the glove box, if you should look
You'll find 40 parking tickets
And a copy of the Good Book
Don't bother looking, you'll never find me
I'm starting from scratch and leaving trouble behind me
wicked and weird I'm a road hog with an old dog
singing slow songs trying to hold on
wicked and weird I'm a rat fich
tryin' to practice doing back flips on your mattress

Christ almighty, there's a rattle in the wheelwell
Dog fell asleep and man, I don't feel well
But all I need is a half decent breakfast
And I'll be back at it, dirty and reckless
5 o'clock shadow, lips like mud flaps
hands like eagle's talons, eyes like hub caps
The further I get, I keep going faster
Whispers in the wind, cows in the pasture
I have no plans and nothin' to prove either
I eat out of a bag and sleep in a movie theater

The highway's the story teller, I just write it down
Already been beaten, there's no way to fight it now
I just kick back and keep warm on the cold days
and laugh 'cause it ain't like it was in the old days
I figure when I make it to the heavenly gates
They'll be working on my car and playing 78's

wicked and weird I'm a road hog with an old dog
singing slow songs trying to hold on
wicked and weird I'm a rat fish
tryin' to practice doing back flips on your mattress
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