Weaker Soldier Lyrics

I once was a weaker soldier hanging in the war
But I left, like an ape, folded neatly in four
And silently played for a moment slow and bled
On a sandalwood bust I had
Where was the field where I had pressed another down
Where I had revealed myself by crying and shouting ?
I turned away from that and into this black kettle of one-ness
I have not been feeling the same
I am not fit to carry your name
I am not fit and I am not willing
To go on

Sold, down the lane, in a way to restrain
You from calling a name and then regretting
If you save what you own you are always alone
And then why postpone the good death ?
We are those who break laws when the cold body thaws
Who prefer breaking jaws but must lower ourselves
Unfit though we are to help you get very far
Still we would never mar your rightful due
I have not been feeling the same
I am not fit to carry your name
I am not fit and I am not willing
To go on

It was noon before she moved into the yards and pressed her hair
With a hand yellowed, smooth, and shaking
She had pulled on a housedress over nothing but her skin
And stood in the grass looking about her
You breath in here, and you've breathed of me
My girl here, she loves you, she'll take you upstairs
Call on me later, much later in life
But do me a favor and leave her up there
I have not feeling the same
(I have not been feeling the same)
I am not willing to carry your name
(I am not fit to carry your name)
I am not here and I am not going
(I am not fit and I am not willing)
To be there
(To go on)