you wouldn't run to me if i called we spent so many years pretending not to know each other at all we shared our cynicism and our black-hole loneliness you would lie to me on the telephone, and with your arm around my shoulder just for fun I'd be cruel to you I'd stand you up or stare you down just to prove how little i cared i had to prove that i was not the biggest idiot in the world i was not the biggest idiot in the world we joined our empty beds. drink and drove our demons out of their heavy shells danced to decadence in honor of those who hated us but in the morning when i woke i felt a faint glimmer of hope and i cared i felt just like the biggest idiot in the world i was like the biggest idiot in the world i hated me, i hated you and all the stupid things we do to feel smart when we are a pair of the biggest idiots in the world