The Hospital Song Lyrics

Nobody sends me birthday cards
Nobody brings me flowers
I'm just here for operations
I've been out for hours
When I come to I'll wet my bed
'Cause when I get mad I sink so low
As matron knows
I get off on what you give me, darling
I get off on what you give to me
Yeah, I get off on what you give me, darling
I get off on what you give to me

And when I go to that seedy ward up in the sky
You'll be waiting with a hypodermic needle
And a graph
Here comes the dark
(I'm grateful for my anaesthetic)
Out goes the spark
(Delirious and apathetic)

When I come to I'll wet my bed
And when I get well I'll take revenge
I'll wreak my wrath
On all blood donors and their sisters
Visiting time and flowers
When sister brings that bedpan 'round
I'll p*** like April showers
I get off on what you give me, darling
I get off on what you give to me
Yeah, I get off on what you give me, darling
I get off on what you give to me

(Repeat)

And when I go
I'll die of plaster casting love