When I was a kid, I had crazy dreams
I could hold out my hand and shoot laser beams
I had super-vision, enhanced hearing too,
And mechanical limbs that made me faster than you
Now it's forty years later, I can hold out my hand
And the channels and volume change at my command
I've got bifocals, and a Miracle Ear
And a mobility cart that I can't hardly steer.
I'm a cheap-a** cyborg, barely alive,
Six million dollar man, more like six ninety five
They said they'd rebuild me, make me better than I was,
So how come I can't do what Robocop does?
Or Brillo? or Inspector Gadget? Or Twiki?
The advance of technology boggles the mind,
But somehow I think that I got left behind.
In my dreams, my extendable arms grab and lift,
This Christmas, I got Gopher 2 as a gift.
Used to fantastize mind speech where I'd just stare and think,
As it is, my d*** Bluetooth is still on the blink.
I knew I'd turn on gadgets with a subsonic key,
What I've got is the Clapper, last week I bought three.
I'm a cheap-a** cyborg, refurbished yet sickly,
A bionic man, if you define it real strictly,
Made me better stronger faster, but the bar was so low
There was nowhere but up I could go.
With help.
Astro Boy and Gigantor and Frankenstein Jr.,
I only wish that I'd seen the truth sooner,
I hoped to be a Transformer, ahead of my time,
I guess I was an Optimus back in my Prime....
They've fused up my spine, and replaced both my hips,
Smoothed my skin out with Botox, and collagen'd my lips.
Got a rod in my forearm and a plate in my head,
I'd give 'em up in a minute for an iPhone instead.
If you hear something whisper in the dark now and then,
It's my CPAP, the hose has come loose once again.
Still, I know someday I'll be a bionic man,
Till then, just let stuff work when I go to the can.
I'm a cheap-a** cyborg, no armor in sight,
No Gatling guns built in my wrists for a fight,
This ain't how I imagined the future would be,
I want my flying car, and I hope that it's me.
I'm a cheap-a** cyborg, nowhere close to s***e,
Artoo and See Threepio laugh in my face,
But I have the last laugh, each night when I sleep...
I dream of the future...
Not electric sheep.
I could hold out my hand and shoot laser beams
I had super-vision, enhanced hearing too,
And mechanical limbs that made me faster than you
Now it's forty years later, I can hold out my hand
And the channels and volume change at my command
I've got bifocals, and a Miracle Ear
And a mobility cart that I can't hardly steer.
I'm a cheap-a** cyborg, barely alive,
Six million dollar man, more like six ninety five
They said they'd rebuild me, make me better than I was,
So how come I can't do what Robocop does?
Or Brillo? or Inspector Gadget? Or Twiki?
The advance of technology boggles the mind,
But somehow I think that I got left behind.
In my dreams, my extendable arms grab and lift,
This Christmas, I got Gopher 2 as a gift.
Used to fantastize mind speech where I'd just stare and think,
As it is, my d*** Bluetooth is still on the blink.
I knew I'd turn on gadgets with a subsonic key,
What I've got is the Clapper, last week I bought three.
I'm a cheap-a** cyborg, refurbished yet sickly,
A bionic man, if you define it real strictly,
Made me better stronger faster, but the bar was so low
There was nowhere but up I could go.
With help.
Astro Boy and Gigantor and Frankenstein Jr.,
I only wish that I'd seen the truth sooner,
I hoped to be a Transformer, ahead of my time,
I guess I was an Optimus back in my Prime....
They've fused up my spine, and replaced both my hips,
Smoothed my skin out with Botox, and collagen'd my lips.
Got a rod in my forearm and a plate in my head,
I'd give 'em up in a minute for an iPhone instead.
If you hear something whisper in the dark now and then,
It's my CPAP, the hose has come loose once again.
Still, I know someday I'll be a bionic man,
Till then, just let stuff work when I go to the can.
I'm a cheap-a** cyborg, no armor in sight,
No Gatling guns built in my wrists for a fight,
This ain't how I imagined the future would be,
I want my flying car, and I hope that it's me.
I'm a cheap-a** cyborg, nowhere close to s***e,
Artoo and See Threepio laugh in my face,
But I have the last laugh, each night when I sleep...
I dream of the future...
Not electric sheep.