I'd like to introduce myself, I'm Nicholas Foster
I'm not the best looking guy you'll find
But I enjoy Kamel Reds and a good piece of Bocelli
And when I've had a few too many, I do things I regret
So I walked over to the bar to meet my friend
Hey, Foster
Yup, that's Mikey, pint in hand
Looking for any mischief he can find
What's been up, m************
I haven't seen you in ages
I knew I shouldn't, but temptation got the best of me
Why do I do all these things to hurt you
Foster, hear that a******
His name's Ray
He says he's been seeing your lady in an intimate way
Says he beats her up, he says he treats her like a w****
He says he spits in her face, then she comes back for more
It's a lie, nonsense
He's full of s***
m************ would be lucky if he could find his d***
I was going to let it slide, turn the other cheek
But I overheard the b****** as he started to speak
Got a new b****, been a s*** for a time
She was Foster's once, but now she's mine
And that poor old f***
Heh, he doesn't even have a clue
I'm going to kill him
Why do I do all these things to hurt you
Why do I hurt you, oh
Why do I do all these things to hurt you
Why do I hurt you, oh
Followed the f*** as he went to take a p***
Crept into the alley, fingers turned to fists
Stayed silent with my hands around his neck
I looked into his face and sunk the glass into his breast
A surge of blood, a moment passed
I couldn't think, I couldn't move
With every second waiting
There was something they could prove
Smiled, felt relief as his breath became shy
His body lay limp, I had taken his life
No, no, no
No, no, no
No, no, no
Oh, f***
What have I done
There's blood everywhere, look at all this blood
Oh, God
I wonder how much money's in his wallet
How am I going to get away with this
So I woke up like it was any other Sunday
I had me a cup of black coffee, read the paper
And had one of me favorite f***
Felt right as rain, until the phone rang
Hello
Hello, Nicholas Foster
Who is this
This is Officer Sloan from the police department
Oh, Officer Sloan-
Where were you on the night of the 31st
I was... I happened to be-
Happened to be at a pub at Broadway and Hurst
No, I wasn't there, actually-
Do you know Ray Wells
Um, Ray Wells, Ray Wells
Doesn't ring any bells
The 31st I was out of town
Yeah, th-that's right, on business in fact
You see, I was with my bird, we're in love
Well, thank you for your time
I hate to bother you
And they bought it
Who is it
Freeze, m************
I didn't do anything
Face on the floor
I'm innocent
I'm not getting on the floor
You s*** murderer
You murdered someone and you know it
I didn't do anything
I'm innocent
We know it, and you know it
I didn't do anything
And you're gonna spend the rest of your life in prison paying for it
I'm not the best looking guy you'll find
But I enjoy Kamel Reds and a good piece of Bocelli
And when I've had a few too many, I do things I regret
So I walked over to the bar to meet my friend
Hey, Foster
Yup, that's Mikey, pint in hand
Looking for any mischief he can find
What's been up, m************
I haven't seen you in ages
I knew I shouldn't, but temptation got the best of me
Why do I do all these things to hurt you
Foster, hear that a******
His name's Ray
He says he's been seeing your lady in an intimate way
Says he beats her up, he says he treats her like a w****
He says he spits in her face, then she comes back for more
It's a lie, nonsense
He's full of s***
m************ would be lucky if he could find his d***
I was going to let it slide, turn the other cheek
But I overheard the b****** as he started to speak
Got a new b****, been a s*** for a time
She was Foster's once, but now she's mine
And that poor old f***
Heh, he doesn't even have a clue
I'm going to kill him
Why do I do all these things to hurt you
Why do I hurt you, oh
Why do I do all these things to hurt you
Why do I hurt you, oh
Followed the f*** as he went to take a p***
Crept into the alley, fingers turned to fists
Stayed silent with my hands around his neck
I looked into his face and sunk the glass into his breast
A surge of blood, a moment passed
I couldn't think, I couldn't move
With every second waiting
There was something they could prove
Smiled, felt relief as his breath became shy
His body lay limp, I had taken his life
No, no, no
No, no, no
No, no, no
Oh, f***
What have I done
There's blood everywhere, look at all this blood
Oh, God
I wonder how much money's in his wallet
How am I going to get away with this
So I woke up like it was any other Sunday
I had me a cup of black coffee, read the paper
And had one of me favorite f***
Felt right as rain, until the phone rang
Hello
Hello, Nicholas Foster
Who is this
This is Officer Sloan from the police department
Oh, Officer Sloan-
Where were you on the night of the 31st
I was... I happened to be-
Happened to be at a pub at Broadway and Hurst
No, I wasn't there, actually-
Do you know Ray Wells
Um, Ray Wells, Ray Wells
Doesn't ring any bells
The 31st I was out of town
Yeah, th-that's right, on business in fact
You see, I was with my bird, we're in love
Well, thank you for your time
I hate to bother you
And they bought it
Who is it
Freeze, m************
I didn't do anything
Face on the floor
I'm innocent
I'm not getting on the floor
You s*** murderer
You murdered someone and you know it
I didn't do anything
I'm innocent
We know it, and you know it
I didn't do anything
And you're gonna spend the rest of your life in prison paying for it