A BELL IN A BOAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LAKE
AND EVERY BLACK MONDAY IT RATTLES AWAKE
AND SO I RUN FROM THE GUARDHOUSE
AND INTO THE TREES
SCARED OUT OF MY SKIN
THAT THIS TIME THEY'LL CATCH ME
FOR THERE ARE THINGS THAT I'VE DONE
THAT CANNOT BE DISPROVED
AND I TRY TO FORGET
AND I TRY TO UNDO
AND YOU CAN KEEP YOUR GUN CLEAN
FROM THE RAIN AND FROM THE DIRT
BUT IF YOU FIRE THAT THING
THEN SOMEONE WILL GET HURT
AND WHERE TO BEGIN
I COULDN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP IF I TRIED LORD
OH WHERE TO BEGIN
WELL SHE SAID FIND ME A FIREMAN
AND BUILD ME A FIRE
AND THROW ON WHAT YOU'VE GOT
AND LET IT GROW HIGHER
AND I'LL STAND ON THE OCEAN
AND I'LL SPIT ON THE FLAMES
AND WE BOTH KNOW THAT YOU WILL LIMP BACK TO ME AGAIN
WELL DID SHE TAKE OFF FOR ENGLAND
WITH MISS JAMES AND EMILY
IN A BOAT BOUND FOR LIVERPOOL
ON A GRAVEL GREY SEA
AND DID SHE CLING TO THE SIDE
WHILE THE WAVES DID LURCH
AND DID SHE COME HOME WITH A STOMACH
FULL OF NOTHING BUT HURT
OH WHERE TO BEGIN
I COULDN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP IF I TRIED LORD
OH WHERE TO BEGIN
THERE WAS A FIGHT AND A DOG
AND A ROPE IN THE WOODS
I SAID MY HOME IS A HOLE
AND WAS WELL UNDERSTOOD
AND I BLED ON THE BED
AND THEN DRAGGED IT TO THE BRIDGE
AND THERE WE THREW OFF OUR CLOTHES
AND SWAM UNDERNEATH
AND I FELL OFF THE ROOF
AND I TORE A PIECE FROM MY HAND
I DIDN'T LOOK AT IT FOR A WEEK
I WAS A WELL WORRIED MAN
AND LAWRY SHOUTED AT HIS TWIN
AND HIS GHOSTS IN THE CLUB
AND MARY AND JOSEPH
AND ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
AND WHERE TO BEGIN
I COULDN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP IF I TRIED LORD
OH WHERE TO BEGIN
THERE WERE RAVENS AND MAGPIES
AND JAYS AND ROOKS
JACKDAWS AND SLACKJAWS
AND DISHONEST CROOKS
A MURDER OF MEN
A GANG ONE SHOULD FEAR
AND THEY WALKED THIRTY MILES
AND SET UP CAMP RIGHT HERE
AND THESE FELLOWS ARE CRAZY
AND HALF OUT OF THEIR MINDS
AND THEY DO NOT KNOW REASON
OR AN ACTION THAT'S KIND
AND THEY ARE OUT OF TOUCH
BUT TOO MUCH IN CHARGE
AND YOU THREW THEM A BONE
THEY MADE OFF WITH THE FARM
WHERE TO BEGIN
I COULDN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP IF I TRIED LORD
OH WHERE TO BEGIN
AND SO WE CLIMBED UP A MOUNTAIN
AND THE AIR IT GREW THIN
AND SHE WAS DRESSED FOR A FUNERAL
AND I WAS DRESSED FOR SPRING
AND AN HOUR TO GET UP
AND THREE TO GET DOWN
AND I WAS NEVER MORE STUPID
AND NEVER MORE PROUD
AND THEN I RAN TO JOHANNE'S
FROM THE SOUTH TO THE NORTH
I FELL INTO HER BED
I FELL ONTO THE FLOOR
AND MAYBE I WAS ROBBED
AND MAYBE JUST DUMB
BUT CARELESS AT BEST
AND WHAT'S DONE NOW
IS DONE NOW
IS DONE NOW
IS DONE NOW
AND WHERE TO BEGIN
I COULDN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP IF I TRIED LORD
OH WHERE TO BEGIN
AND EVERY BLACK MONDAY IT RATTLES AWAKE
AND SO I RUN FROM THE GUARDHOUSE
AND INTO THE TREES
SCARED OUT OF MY SKIN
THAT THIS TIME THEY'LL CATCH ME
FOR THERE ARE THINGS THAT I'VE DONE
THAT CANNOT BE DISPROVED
AND I TRY TO FORGET
AND I TRY TO UNDO
AND YOU CAN KEEP YOUR GUN CLEAN
FROM THE RAIN AND FROM THE DIRT
BUT IF YOU FIRE THAT THING
THEN SOMEONE WILL GET HURT
AND WHERE TO BEGIN
I COULDN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP IF I TRIED LORD
OH WHERE TO BEGIN
WELL SHE SAID FIND ME A FIREMAN
AND BUILD ME A FIRE
AND THROW ON WHAT YOU'VE GOT
AND LET IT GROW HIGHER
AND I'LL STAND ON THE OCEAN
AND I'LL SPIT ON THE FLAMES
AND WE BOTH KNOW THAT YOU WILL LIMP BACK TO ME AGAIN
WELL DID SHE TAKE OFF FOR ENGLAND
WITH MISS JAMES AND EMILY
IN A BOAT BOUND FOR LIVERPOOL
ON A GRAVEL GREY SEA
AND DID SHE CLING TO THE SIDE
WHILE THE WAVES DID LURCH
AND DID SHE COME HOME WITH A STOMACH
FULL OF NOTHING BUT HURT
OH WHERE TO BEGIN
I COULDN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP IF I TRIED LORD
OH WHERE TO BEGIN
THERE WAS A FIGHT AND A DOG
AND A ROPE IN THE WOODS
I SAID MY HOME IS A HOLE
AND WAS WELL UNDERSTOOD
AND I BLED ON THE BED
AND THEN DRAGGED IT TO THE BRIDGE
AND THERE WE THREW OFF OUR CLOTHES
AND SWAM UNDERNEATH
AND I FELL OFF THE ROOF
AND I TORE A PIECE FROM MY HAND
I DIDN'T LOOK AT IT FOR A WEEK
I WAS A WELL WORRIED MAN
AND LAWRY SHOUTED AT HIS TWIN
AND HIS GHOSTS IN THE CLUB
AND MARY AND JOSEPH
AND ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
AND WHERE TO BEGIN
I COULDN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP IF I TRIED LORD
OH WHERE TO BEGIN
THERE WERE RAVENS AND MAGPIES
AND JAYS AND ROOKS
JACKDAWS AND SLACKJAWS
AND DISHONEST CROOKS
A MURDER OF MEN
A GANG ONE SHOULD FEAR
AND THEY WALKED THIRTY MILES
AND SET UP CAMP RIGHT HERE
AND THESE FELLOWS ARE CRAZY
AND HALF OUT OF THEIR MINDS
AND THEY DO NOT KNOW REASON
OR AN ACTION THAT'S KIND
AND THEY ARE OUT OF TOUCH
BUT TOO MUCH IN CHARGE
AND YOU THREW THEM A BONE
THEY MADE OFF WITH THE FARM
WHERE TO BEGIN
I COULDN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP IF I TRIED LORD
OH WHERE TO BEGIN
AND SO WE CLIMBED UP A MOUNTAIN
AND THE AIR IT GREW THIN
AND SHE WAS DRESSED FOR A FUNERAL
AND I WAS DRESSED FOR SPRING
AND AN HOUR TO GET UP
AND THREE TO GET DOWN
AND I WAS NEVER MORE STUPID
AND NEVER MORE PROUD
AND THEN I RAN TO JOHANNE'S
FROM THE SOUTH TO THE NORTH
I FELL INTO HER BED
I FELL ONTO THE FLOOR
AND MAYBE I WAS ROBBED
AND MAYBE JUST DUMB
BUT CARELESS AT BEST
AND WHAT'S DONE NOW
IS DONE NOW
IS DONE NOW
IS DONE NOW
AND WHERE TO BEGIN
I COULDN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP IF I TRIED LORD
OH WHERE TO BEGIN