Sir Greenbaum's Madrigal Lyrics

(Parody of "Greensleeves" a/k/a "What Child Is This?")

In Sherwood Forest
There dwelt a knight
Who was known
As the righteous Sir Greenbaum
And many dragons
Had felt the might
Of the smite
Of the righteous Sir Greenbaum

I chanced upon him one morn
When he'd recently rescued a maiden fair
Why, why art thou so forlorn
Sir Greenbaum, is thy heart heavy laden?

Said he, "Forsooth
'Tis a sorry plight
That engendered my attitude bluish"
Said he, "I don't wanna be a knight
That's no job for a boy who is Jewish"
All day with the mighty sword
And the mighty steed and the mighty lance
All day with that heavy shield
And a pair of aluminum pants

All day with the slaying and slewing
And smiting and smoting like Robin Hood
Oh, wouldst I could kick the habit
And give up smoting for good
And so he said to the other knights,
"You may have my possessions and my goods
For I am moving to Shaker Heights
Where I've got some connections in dry goods

Farewell to the dragon's paw
And the other swashbuckling games and sports
I'll work for my father in law
When I marry Miss Guinevere Schwartz"