BIG NELLIE MAY
Now i'll tell you the story of Big Nellie May,
She took on the golf in a serious way.
With her shiny new clubs and her big plastic bag,
She could easily have passed for Jack Nicholas in drag.
Chorus: Toora loo, toora lay,
Now Nellie was handicapped more than the rest,
Her stroke was impaired by the size of her chest;
Her over-development proved her downfall,
When she swung, they both swung and all missed the ball.
Now Nellie decided they hampered her stroke,
So she tethered them up with a big piece of rope.
But they didn't like being tied up in the noose;
And the very next stroke both rascals broke loose.
Well in sheer desperation she turned to the pro,
Who looked at poor Nell and said "Well i don't know...
I've only seen two that look like yours do,
And they were on a camel in Calder park zoo."
Well this pointed remark at the poor girl's physique
Made Nellie lash out in a great fit of pique.
Her blow caught the pro in his most cherrished spot,
And now he's got two just as big as she's got.
Now i'll tell you the story of Big Nellie May,
She took on the golf in a serious way.
With her shiny new clubs and her big plastic bag,
She could easily have passed for Jack Nicholas in drag.
Chorus: Toora loo, toora lay,
Now Nellie was handicapped more than the rest,
Her stroke was impaired by the size of her chest;
Her over-development proved her downfall,
When she swung, they both swung and all missed the ball.
Now Nellie decided they hampered her stroke,
So she tethered them up with a big piece of rope.
But they didn't like being tied up in the noose;
And the very next stroke both rascals broke loose.
Well in sheer desperation she turned to the pro,
Who looked at poor Nell and said "Well i don't know...
I've only seen two that look like yours do,
And they were on a camel in Calder park zoo."
Well this pointed remark at the poor girl's physique
Made Nellie lash out in a great fit of pique.
Her blow caught the pro in his most cherrished spot,
And now he's got two just as big as she's got.