What costs fifty pence a packet?
What fits in your wallet late at night?
What protects you more than Edward Woodward would?
And it's alright when it's out of sight.
Yeh it's a Condom
It's a Condom
It's a Condom
What makes you s-s-stutter in the chemist?
What's just a harmless rubber thing?
What's like a placca mac on a midget?
But it's there to protect your Ding A Ling.
Yeh it's a Condom
It's a Condom
It's a Condom
Why is the word disgusting?
Why do they make them red and blue?
What would give the pope a heart attack?
But it safeguards the likes of me and you.
Yeh it's a Condom
It's a Condom
It's a Condom
Two dog's were standing having a chat when one turns to the other one
and says "you know when you go round s***ing all these other dogs,
do you wear any protection ?" and the other dog says "no DU-REX".
What's never mentioned in the birds and the bees?
What's more precious than the wife?
What can you trust it's not a question of l***?
It's there so you don't ruin your life.
Yeh it's a Condom
It's a Condom
It's a Condom
What fits in your wallet late at night?
What protects you more than Edward Woodward would?
And it's alright when it's out of sight.
Yeh it's a Condom
It's a Condom
It's a Condom
What makes you s-s-stutter in the chemist?
What's just a harmless rubber thing?
What's like a placca mac on a midget?
But it's there to protect your Ding A Ling.
Yeh it's a Condom
It's a Condom
It's a Condom
Why is the word disgusting?
Why do they make them red and blue?
What would give the pope a heart attack?
But it safeguards the likes of me and you.
Yeh it's a Condom
It's a Condom
It's a Condom
Two dog's were standing having a chat when one turns to the other one
and says "you know when you go round s***ing all these other dogs,
do you wear any protection ?" and the other dog says "no DU-REX".
What's never mentioned in the birds and the bees?
What's more precious than the wife?
What can you trust it's not a question of l***?
It's there so you don't ruin your life.
Yeh it's a Condom
It's a Condom
It's a Condom