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Spare a** Annie Lyrics

When I became captain of the town, I decided to extend asylum to certain citizens who were persona non grata elsewhere in the area because of their disgusting and disquieting deformities. One was known as Spare a** Annie. She had an auxiliary a****** in the middle of her forehead like a painful bronze eye. Another was a scorpion from the neck down. He had retained the human attribute of voice, and was given to revolting paroxysms of self-pity and self-disgust during which he threatened to kill himself by a sting in the back of his neck. He never threatened anyone else, though his sting would have caused instant death.

Spare a** Annie.
Another and by far the most detrimental was like a giant centipede but terminated in human legs and lower abdomen. Sometimes he walked half-erect, his centipede body swaying ahead of him. At other times, he crawled dragging his human portion as an awkward person. He was known as Centi-Peter, because he was continually making s**ual advances to anyone he could corner; and anyone who passed out was subject to wake up with Centi-Pete in his bed. One degenerate hermaphrodite known as Fish-c*** Sam claimed he was the best lay in town. Besides, he was a perfect gentleman in every sense of the word; he was kind, considerate...which means nothing to the likes of you.
Spare a** Annie.

These creatures had developed in the region where the priests carried out strange rites. They built boxes from moist, fresh bones of healthy youths, captives from neighboring tribes. Pregnant women were placed in the boxes and left on the peak for a period of three hours. Most of the women died, but those who survived usually produced monsters. The priests considered these monstrosities a way of humiliating the human race before the gods, in the hope of diverting their anger. These horrible freaks were highly prized, and they lived in the temple. The women who gave birth to the most monsters received gold stars which they were authorized to wear on ceremonial occasions.

Once a month they held a great festival in which everyone gathered in a round stone temple, open at the top, and prostrated themselves on the floor, a**uming the most disgusting and degraded positions possible, so that the gods would see that they were not attempting to elevate themselves above their station. The habit of living in filth and humiliation finally occasioned a plague, in the form of acute leprosy. It depopulated the area. The surviving freaks, who seemed immune to the plague, I decided to receive as an abject lesson in how far human kicks can go.
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Spare Ass Annie and Other Tales (1993)
Interlude I: Wrinkled Earlobes Are a Sign of Impending Heartattacks Spare a** Annie Interlude 2: This Is Insane The Last Words of Dutch Schultz (This Is Insane) Interlude 3: The Vultures Are Gone and Will Never Come Back Mildred Pierce Reporting (Old Sarge) Dr. Benway Operates Warning to Young Couples (Huntsman's Hounds) Did I Ever Tell You About the Man That Taught His a****** to Talk? Last Words With Ras I. Zulu A One God Universe Interlude 4: Fletch Is Here The Junky's Christmas Words of Advice for Young People Last Words With Michael Franti