Gatesy: Hello! So you've had an hour... you've had an hour drinking, starting fights. But we were told - Catholic priests, prostitutes, smurfs, a gay housemate with the same name, floor buffer, and a bit of s***gy somewhere in there, and it's kind of in a Pogue style - you're familiar with the Pogue's body of work?
Yon: So what we've written is, basically, a love story that takes place in Smurfland.
Scod: Yeah, baby! Let's do it!
Gatesy: Thanks for sticking around for an hour, guys.
Tripod: It's a happy old life, being a Smurf,
We don't have a worry or care on the Earth.
We love all the sights and the sounds and the smells,
Except for that dirty old Gargamel.
Gatesy: Now the only inbalance I see in Smurf-Land,
Is there's only one female from west to the east.
Gatesy: - Lady Smurf.
Gatesy: Everyone's had her, except Papa Smurf,
Tripod: 'Cause he's training to be a Catholic Priest.
But Lady Smurf has decided to charge.
She's so in demand that she's charging a fee,
She's so busy f*****', there's no time for me.
Scod: Now I buff the floors of Smurf-Land, you see,
And they never made a figurine out of me.
I'm just Floor Buffer Smurf, I'm no-one in her eyes,
So she's been hanging out with the...
Tripod: ... popular guys.
Gatesy: And there's so many smurfs that they sell at BP,
She loves all the others, so why not me?
There's King Smurf and Skate Smurf and Massive c*** Smurf.
Gatesy: But strangely they never made a figure out of that one but I can understand why she would hang out with him...
Scod: Yeah...
Tripod: But Lady Smurf has decided to charge.
She's so in demand that she's charging a fee,
She's so busy smurfin', there's no time for me.
Gatesy: 'Scuse me, how much for a smurf job?
Scod: (High-pitched) That'll be eight smurfs. Do you want me to smurf you, while I smurf you?
Gatesy: Actually, no, I just want you to smurf me off.
Scod: Well, my name finally made it to the top of her list,
But I was out buffin' some floors that day.
My house-mate's name matched with the one in her book,
So she went to smurf him...
Tripod: ... but he was gay!
Scod: s***gy!
Gatesy: s***gy!
Yon: (s***gy) But Lady Smurf has decided to charge,
She's so in demand that she's charging a fee,
She's so busy s******'...
Gatesy and Scod: ... there's no time for me!
Yon: (s***gy) Woh, woh, woh...
Gatesy: Goodnight! Thanks so much!
Scod: Thank you!
Yon: So what we've written is, basically, a love story that takes place in Smurfland.
Scod: Yeah, baby! Let's do it!
Gatesy: Thanks for sticking around for an hour, guys.
Tripod: It's a happy old life, being a Smurf,
We don't have a worry or care on the Earth.
We love all the sights and the sounds and the smells,
Except for that dirty old Gargamel.
Gatesy: Now the only inbalance I see in Smurf-Land,
Is there's only one female from west to the east.
Gatesy: - Lady Smurf.
Gatesy: Everyone's had her, except Papa Smurf,
Tripod: 'Cause he's training to be a Catholic Priest.
But Lady Smurf has decided to charge.
She's so in demand that she's charging a fee,
She's so busy f*****', there's no time for me.
Scod: Now I buff the floors of Smurf-Land, you see,
And they never made a figurine out of me.
I'm just Floor Buffer Smurf, I'm no-one in her eyes,
So she's been hanging out with the...
Tripod: ... popular guys.
Gatesy: And there's so many smurfs that they sell at BP,
She loves all the others, so why not me?
There's King Smurf and Skate Smurf and Massive c*** Smurf.
Gatesy: But strangely they never made a figure out of that one but I can understand why she would hang out with him...
Scod: Yeah...
Tripod: But Lady Smurf has decided to charge.
She's so in demand that she's charging a fee,
She's so busy smurfin', there's no time for me.
Gatesy: 'Scuse me, how much for a smurf job?
Scod: (High-pitched) That'll be eight smurfs. Do you want me to smurf you, while I smurf you?
Gatesy: Actually, no, I just want you to smurf me off.
Scod: Well, my name finally made it to the top of her list,
But I was out buffin' some floors that day.
My house-mate's name matched with the one in her book,
So she went to smurf him...
Tripod: ... but he was gay!
Scod: s***gy!
Gatesy: s***gy!
Yon: (s***gy) But Lady Smurf has decided to charge,
She's so in demand that she's charging a fee,
She's so busy s******'...
Gatesy and Scod: ... there's no time for me!
Yon: (s***gy) Woh, woh, woh...
Gatesy: Goodnight! Thanks so much!
Scod: Thank you!