Really Safe s** Lyrics

I believe in really safe s**
Really, really, really safe s**
Use a prophylactic, that's rule one
If you do it in a car, keep your seat belt on
If you're on a waterbed, keep the room above freezing
I believe in really safe s**
Take my advice before it's too late
Makes sure it's been at least an hour since you ate
If you've got a blow-up doll, don't over-inflate
When using dairy products check the expiration date
If you do it for a living, don't take out of state checks
I believe in really safe s**
If you've got a lot of people in your bedroom, check with the fire marshal
If a woman's all pierced, have her sign a letter
Stating all those holes were there before you met her

Don't play post office with someone who's disgruntled
If you do it with a stranger, don't talk to him
When you're done, don't smoke in bed
Share a nicotine patch with your lover instead
If you do it in the road, wear a collar that reflects
I believe in really safe s**
(Safe s**)
I believe in really safe s**
(Safe s**)
I believe in really, really, really, really safe s**