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My Winter Coat Lyrics

the fit is generous and loose
the coat is filled with down of goose

should I feel guilty about that?
I wouldn't wear the fur of a cat
the coat is black so in New York City
it doesn't look dirty it stays pretty

the cuffs are purple which perfectly suits
a pair I already had of boots

can't help sharing on a personal note
a secret I have concerning the coat

one of the reasons that it got my vote
is the way it lies open around the throat

for me the collar mustn't come too high
because well all right my skin is dry

so each morning I rub my face with oil
and the fabric you see the grease could soil

can we speak a moment about the lining
after my own heart's designing

it's nylon so your skirts don't wind
up in a bunch around your behind

when the time comes for the coat to clean
you throw this thing in the washing machine

drying you doubt but the filling does fluff
I'm here to proclaim this coat is enough

the length of the coat is below the knees
so in the cold your legs don't freeze

I'm nuts about another one of its charms
there's plenty of room underneath the arms
the coat's not bulky it weighs about an ounce
and it's practically void of any frivolous flounce

I will admit it has shoulder pads
all things considered it's not so bad

it looks all right even from the side
I guess because the bottom isn't overly wide

okay so you say you'd prefer something hipper
but can I just tell you about the zipper

I searched for it for many years
last one I had I tore up in tears

it turned me into Jack the Ripper
but now I stepped in Cinderella's slipper

it runs from the gullet to just south of the crotch
and workin' it's a task you can hardly botch

it's made of a material that will not rust
it won't get stuck you don't get fussed
it undoes easily in the usual way
but you can also pull it up if you'd like to, let's say

SIT DOWN ON THE TRAIN OR CLIMB SOME STAIRS
YOUR DESIRE TO BEND THIS COAT ABOUT SHARES

there's snaps as well which I don't even use
but they beat out b***ons if I had to choose

I remember the night I went to the store
fighting my way across the cloak-stuffed floor

suffocating I was it seemed
when from a rack this last hope beamed

of all my requirements I pursued the trail
to find furthermore the d*** thing was on sale

it had a small chain at the back of the neck
so you could hang it on a hook but it broke what the heck

with the end of each sleeve I'm totally smitten
ample s***e for to emerge a thick mitten

if you wanna be warm it wins far and away
it's like walkin' around in your bed all day

I know you're not supposed to be so fond of a thing
but today this is my heartfelt inspiration to sing

I hope you don't think I'm merely trying to be clever
I wish this coat would last forever
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