Children, this is a song about the ugliest girl in the world
She is our Fan Club President in Afghanistan
And she's kinda ugly, real ugly, now listen closely everybody
And you can see how beautiful ugliness is
She's got big green eyes all over the face
She's got a-long red ears all, all over the place
She's got big fat nose and I don't know what to do with it honey
Those teeth hanging down, they look like money
You know, you can tell we love her can't you?
Let's have a little harmony from the other voices
(Do-do-do-do) My baby so ugly, you can imagine, her mother didn't like her either
Listen everybody, not everybody can have an ugly girl
Any idiot can have a pretty girl
Let's have some more pretty singing gentlemen
She's got a-thin legs and they're, er, also, er, thighs
They're a-walking baby all the night
Her feet are large, they're a extra size
And, er, baby, er, they idolise, but don't you know I want her so
Oh, I still love that girl, hit it
She's about the ugliest girl, here she comes
Listen to her stamp like a thousand elephants
Like a-ten million jet planes whenever she talks
She's my special, extra special
Groovy jet-age supersonic monster baby-child
Oh, she's so nice
We're leaving you now
We're gonna fade away
We're gonna fade away
Buy our next record, it's even groovier than this one, ha
We're going to fade away
Fade away, fade away
She is our Fan Club President in Afghanistan
And she's kinda ugly, real ugly, now listen closely everybody
And you can see how beautiful ugliness is
She's got big green eyes all over the face
She's got a-long red ears all, all over the place
She's got big fat nose and I don't know what to do with it honey
Those teeth hanging down, they look like money
You know, you can tell we love her can't you?
Let's have a little harmony from the other voices
(Do-do-do-do) My baby so ugly, you can imagine, her mother didn't like her either
Listen everybody, not everybody can have an ugly girl
Any idiot can have a pretty girl
Let's have some more pretty singing gentlemen
She's got a-thin legs and they're, er, also, er, thighs
They're a-walking baby all the night
Her feet are large, they're a extra size
And, er, baby, er, they idolise, but don't you know I want her so
Oh, I still love that girl, hit it
She's about the ugliest girl, here she comes
Listen to her stamp like a thousand elephants
Like a-ten million jet planes whenever she talks
She's my special, extra special
Groovy jet-age supersonic monster baby-child
Oh, she's so nice
We're leaving you now
We're gonna fade away
We're gonna fade away
Buy our next record, it's even groovier than this one, ha
We're going to fade away
Fade away, fade away