Uncle k***by Lyrics

My name is Uncle k***by, I hang around primary schools
Underneath my raincoat, I'm always totally nude
I show my navel fluff collection to lots of fully-clothed men
I get a full erection, and have to rush to the gents
Ooh! Uncle k***by, can't we please go home?
Why do you hide in the bushes? What have you done with our clothes?

I introduce my p**** to hamsters, gerbils and mice
I like to read Fiesta, and peek at the reader's wives
Ooh! Uncle k***by, where's our special treat?
Why do you keep taking pictures and sniffing our bicycle seats?

I grummidge in my portfolio, which is full of Tampax ads
I look up my own bottom with mirrors from ladies' handbags

Ooh! Uncle k***by, can't we please go home?
We've never seen any d*****, we don't want to wear pantyhose
Ooh! Uncle k***by, Why have you smeared us with cake?
We don't like standing in custard, and we don't want to play with your snake.