The fit bird at Tesco with the massive t*** said she'd meet me tonight
And she'd ring me at six,
The phone's rung twice, I haven't picked it up,
Coz I'm sitting here staring at a toilet duck
There's a t*** hanging out of my a***
I've strained and I've pushed 'til my sphincter bled
There's a t*** hanging out of my a***
It won't come out, it won't go back, its turtle's heads
Then I had a visit from a man in a suit, he said:
"Is anyone at home? I'm from Littlewood's Pools."
He never heard me screaming, or the toilet flush
So I threw him a message on a dirty bog brush,
It said:
There's a t*** hanging out of my a***
I've strained and I've pushed 'til my sphincter bled
There's a t*** hanging out of my a***
It won't come out, it won't go back, its turtle's heads
The window cleaner's coming, its time to finish,
I'm off down the local for a pint of Guinness
The fit bird from Tesco says she wants a quick s***
Sticks her tongue down my throat, and her hands down my bags.
There's still a t*** hanging out of my a***
I've strained and I've pushed 'til my sphincter bled
There's a t*** hanging out of my a***
It won't come out, it won't go back, its turtle's heads
And she'd ring me at six,
The phone's rung twice, I haven't picked it up,
Coz I'm sitting here staring at a toilet duck
There's a t*** hanging out of my a***
I've strained and I've pushed 'til my sphincter bled
There's a t*** hanging out of my a***
It won't come out, it won't go back, its turtle's heads
Then I had a visit from a man in a suit, he said:
"Is anyone at home? I'm from Littlewood's Pools."
He never heard me screaming, or the toilet flush
So I threw him a message on a dirty bog brush,
It said:
There's a t*** hanging out of my a***
I've strained and I've pushed 'til my sphincter bled
There's a t*** hanging out of my a***
It won't come out, it won't go back, its turtle's heads
The window cleaner's coming, its time to finish,
I'm off down the local for a pint of Guinness
The fit bird from Tesco says she wants a quick s***
Sticks her tongue down my throat, and her hands down my bags.
There's still a t*** hanging out of my a***
I've strained and I've pushed 'til my sphincter bled
There's a t*** hanging out of my a***
It won't come out, it won't go back, its turtle's heads