Lucy Lastic Lyrics

In this life, there's a couple of certs,
One is death, the other's a nurse,
Lucy's old, they say she's past it,
But I gave her one, and her t*** are that big,
They said: 'b******s, they're made of plastic!'
And that I never touched her, But that's just batshit.
Lucy Lastic, we s***ged everywhere,
On the washer, in the kitchen, Twice on the stairs,
(Did you f***, you're making it up)

I got her a pint, took her back to our house,
'Are you sure you want to play with my little red mouse?'
I found its tail by some loose elastic,
The Russians are coming! This is drastic,
So I closed the curtains, sat on her belly,
Poured dogfood in her cleavage And thought about torn wellies.
Lucy Lastic on a haystack,
Two pounds of tripe to take up the slack,
(Was it f***, you're making it up).

Lucy Lastic we s***ged in a skip,
Dead cats in her knickers, tea bags on her t***,
We did it in a snowdrift in Wildboarclough,
But Lucy Lastic was loose enough,
But Lucy Lastic was loose enough,
But Lucy Lastic was loose enough,
But Lucy Lastic was loose enough.
©1989 The Macc Lads

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