I was busy groping on my floor,
Some git comes knocking on my door,
There's a pack of b******s queuing up outside.
No, I don't think that God's amazing,
No, I don't want no double glazing,
I'm just trying to get between this woman's thighs.
'Do you want some life a**urance?' ,
Do you want some car insurance?',
f*** off, t***, I'm trying to have a poke.
'God's sent me on this mission',
'Sign the animal cruelty petition,
' I think beagles should be forced to smoke.
I believe in animal testing,
(yip!) That's a dog,
I don't want cladding or insulation in me f****** loft,
Don't want to help the poor at Christmas,
I'm too busy in this bird's knickers,
I got my airgun out for the Hari Krishnas.
Some old biddy's saving dogs,
So I pushed a flame thrower through the letter box,
f*** off granny, or you'll get what the mormons got.
Cos I fried that b****** to a cinder,
Poured p*** on the vicar out of the bedroom window,
The Animal Rights got their leaflets up their a***.
I believe in animal testing,
(meeow!) That's a cat,
I don't want to buy any carpet cleaner,
Yes, I know the dog's just shat,
I'm quite happy with these stains,
I wired the doorbell to the mains,
Now Macc's got no MP, isn't that a shame?.
Got back to sorting this girl out,
'What was it you came round about?',
She's collecting for the church's gerbil fund.
Now that seems like a worthy cause,
So she got down on all fours,
'I'd like to make a contribution to your c***.'
I believe in animal testing,
(ooh!) That's a bird,
If the panda's dying out,
I couldn't give a t***,
I don't want to know about politics,
I'd rather scrape the cheddar off my d***,
And save the smelly bits for Jehovah's Witnesses.
I believe in animal testing,
(mooo) That's a cow.
©1990 The Macc Lads
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some git comes knocking on my door,
There's a pack of b******s queuing up outside.
No, I don't think that God's amazing,
No, I don't want no double glazing,
I'm just trying to get between this woman's thighs.
'Do you want some life a**urance?' ,
Do you want some car insurance?',
f*** off, t***, I'm trying to have a poke.
'God's sent me on this mission',
'Sign the animal cruelty petition,
' I think beagles should be forced to smoke.
I believe in animal testing,
(yip!) That's a dog,
I don't want cladding or insulation in me f****** loft,
Don't want to help the poor at Christmas,
I'm too busy in this bird's knickers,
I got my airgun out for the Hari Krishnas.
Some old biddy's saving dogs,
So I pushed a flame thrower through the letter box,
f*** off granny, or you'll get what the mormons got.
Cos I fried that b****** to a cinder,
Poured p*** on the vicar out of the bedroom window,
The Animal Rights got their leaflets up their a***.
I believe in animal testing,
(meeow!) That's a cat,
I don't want to buy any carpet cleaner,
Yes, I know the dog's just shat,
I'm quite happy with these stains,
I wired the doorbell to the mains,
Now Macc's got no MP, isn't that a shame?.
Got back to sorting this girl out,
'What was it you came round about?',
She's collecting for the church's gerbil fund.
Now that seems like a worthy cause,
So she got down on all fours,
'I'd like to make a contribution to your c***.'
I believe in animal testing,
(ooh!) That's a bird,
If the panda's dying out,
I couldn't give a t***,
I don't want to know about politics,
I'd rather scrape the cheddar off my d***,
And save the smelly bits for Jehovah's Witnesses.
I believe in animal testing,
(mooo) That's a cow.
©1990 The Macc Lads
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------