Sunday evening I was bored watching God-s***,
Couldn't reach remote control, so I had to watch it,
One eye on Harry Secombe, the other's on the clock,
Five to seven every Sunday we do the Alehouse Rock
Put your left foot on the rail, put your right hand on your ale,
Stand still 'til eleven o'clock, you're doing the Alehouse Rock
Lift the pint in your right hand and tip your head back,
With your left hand wipe the froth off your moustache,
Suck your belly in when you spot fit crack,
Keep your distance in the bogs, and watch the splash back,
When you've finished breaking wind, shout: 'Better out than in,'
Hide the p*** stain round your c***, you're doing the Alehouse Rock
In Dundee or in Dunbar, flop your stomach on the bar, shout:
'f*** off, ginger Jocks!'
You're the alehouse rock.
Down another pint and light an Embassy,
Save up all the coupons for a lung machine,
Tap your cowboy boot along to Slade on the jukebox,
Slap the barmaid's a***, you're doing the Alehouse Rock
Couldn't reach remote control, so I had to watch it,
One eye on Harry Secombe, the other's on the clock,
Five to seven every Sunday we do the Alehouse Rock
Put your left foot on the rail, put your right hand on your ale,
Stand still 'til eleven o'clock, you're doing the Alehouse Rock
Lift the pint in your right hand and tip your head back,
With your left hand wipe the froth off your moustache,
Suck your belly in when you spot fit crack,
Keep your distance in the bogs, and watch the splash back,
When you've finished breaking wind, shout: 'Better out than in,'
Hide the p*** stain round your c***, you're doing the Alehouse Rock
In Dundee or in Dunbar, flop your stomach on the bar, shout:
'f*** off, ginger Jocks!'
You're the alehouse rock.
Down another pint and light an Embassy,
Save up all the coupons for a lung machine,
Tap your cowboy boot along to Slade on the jukebox,
Slap the barmaid's a***, you're doing the Alehouse Rock