Why must every generation,
Think their folks are square?
And no matter where their heads are,
They know mom's ain't there,
Cause I swore when I was small,
That I'd remember when,
I knew what's wrong with them,
That I was smaller than.
Determined to remember,
All the cardinal rules,
Like sun showers are legal grounds,
For cutting school,
I know I have forgotten,
Maybe one or two,
And I hope that I recall them all,
Before the baby's due,
And I know,
He'll have a question or two.
Like, hey, pop, can I go ride my zoom?
It goes two hundred miles an hour,
Suspended on balloons.
And can I put a droplet,
Of this new stuff on my tongue?
And imagine frothing dragons,
While you sit and wreck your lungs?
And I must be permissive,
Understanding of the younger generation.
And then I'll know that all I've learned,
My kid a**umes,
And all my deepest worries,
Must be his cartoons,
And still, I'll try to tell him,
All the things I've done,
Relating to what he can do,
When he becomes a man,
And still, he'll stick his fingers in the fan.
And hey, pop, my girlfriend's only three,
She's got her own videophone,
And she's taking LSD,
And now that we're best friends,
She wants to give a bit to me,
But what's the matter, daddy,
How come you're turning green?
Can it be that you can't live up to your dreams?
Think their folks are square?
And no matter where their heads are,
They know mom's ain't there,
Cause I swore when I was small,
That I'd remember when,
I knew what's wrong with them,
That I was smaller than.
Determined to remember,
All the cardinal rules,
Like sun showers are legal grounds,
For cutting school,
I know I have forgotten,
Maybe one or two,
And I hope that I recall them all,
Before the baby's due,
And I know,
He'll have a question or two.
Like, hey, pop, can I go ride my zoom?
It goes two hundred miles an hour,
Suspended on balloons.
And can I put a droplet,
Of this new stuff on my tongue?
And imagine frothing dragons,
While you sit and wreck your lungs?
And I must be permissive,
Understanding of the younger generation.
And then I'll know that all I've learned,
My kid a**umes,
And all my deepest worries,
Must be his cartoons,
And still, I'll try to tell him,
All the things I've done,
Relating to what he can do,
When he becomes a man,
And still, he'll stick his fingers in the fan.
And hey, pop, my girlfriend's only three,
She's got her own videophone,
And she's taking LSD,
And now that we're best friends,
She wants to give a bit to me,
But what's the matter, daddy,
How come you're turning green?
Can it be that you can't live up to your dreams?