Ship Stuck in Port Lyrics

A schooner sat at bay while the crew all ran amok
The men they gathered on the pier to see if they were stuck
They shouted to the ship "Why are you still here in dock?"
'Cuz the Captain got his knackers caught in the mainsheet block.
I've seen old women blush from the tales that sailors told
Of bawdy, ribald adventures some new ones and some old
Scandalous journeys that they've taken some long and some short
But the worst one that I heard of was a ship stuck in port

The first mate was in charge of making the ship go
But the matey's got a cask of rum and his w**** below
And the boson was belting out a crass and crude old song
It's about a cuckoo's nest but he got the words all wrong
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The cabin boy laughed and said it's time now for some fun
And he lights off the powder in the foremast gun
The shot it caused a scream below from the first mate's w****
Who up and shouted "Chuck it! I'm going off ashore."
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Then the mate came up on deck and said, "We all should go,
I know a place where girls are cheap and the rum it freely flows"
The crew all asked, "Should we invite the captain, to be nice"
"Hell no! He'll stay below with his knackers on some ice!"

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