(Def Author)
What's with all the dice, I rolled low, can I roll twice
I don't know what character to be, but magic's nice
(Let me get this straight, you've never played this) - (J Mase)
I tried once or twice, but haven't messed with it in ages
I used to play the Bard's Tale, and that's
About as close as I ever came to rolling for stats
(It's cool, I'll help you out, and Drew will too) - (J Mase)
Hey where are the cheetos, and where's the mountain dew?
(J Mase)
Have a look at this sheet, it's complete because I made it
(I need to be a bard for sure, 'cause that's my favorite) - Glenn
That can be arranged, we'll just change it on the paper
(and I'll give you some cool items if you're on your best behaviour) - Drew
Here's where your hit points are, and here's your money
And the die that you'll be rolling the most is D 20
Mumblecore's in charge, 'cause he's the dungeon master
So listen to his story, as we set out for disaster
(Mumblecore)
"I put the magic in magic missile
Does That clear things up? (Uh, no) Well this will!
I'm the D to the M, man the el capitan
The Dapper Dan trapper man who's not a rapper fan and
I'm managing you and your clan (That's us!)
Telling you E-X-P or bust!
And I trust you'll dig the setting of our story
(is it somewhere that rocks?) Yeah, a Quarry"
(CHORUS)
Roll the Dice
And then tell me what it is
I want a twenty
Please don't let it be a critical miss
(Soda)
Chillin' in the basement 'cause it's Warcraft patch day
Time for D&D? I'm a Frontalittle mainstay
I've been chaotic neutral since age ten!
fought the dragon's den-spawn, men. I'm a star at gencon
Before we start I'll tell y'all: noone better do me wrong
I'm suspicious of some antics since they happen in every song
I've had some teammates who know how to ruin a campaign
But I'm hoping FAL won't give me reason to complain
(Jon Eric)
It's true, I've never seen a bot play tabletop
(What about that cyborg?) I heard they made him stop
(So we're in the clear?)
No, there's a problem here
The kinda thing that makes me say what the f***?
See there's a guy at this table, in this very game
Avoiding battles, acting lame
It's like Hoody-Hoo
He's stealing booty, too
(So who is it?) I ain't naming names... yet
(Savvy One)
Baccarat's on to something
He ain't frontin'
There's a traitor at the table
and he's leaving us with nothing
We do all the work, and like a jerk
he takes the gold
And by the time we realise it all the booty has been sold
And speaking of booty I got a brownie for that a**
Is there a ranger in the house, I think we better check for traps
He's a tricky little m****, and I wouldn't put it past him
When we find out where he's hiding,
Best believe I'm gonna blast him
(Repeat Chorus)
(Hoblit)
Hoblit is on the case fellow fronters
gonna a**emble our own fellowship of the whoop a**
Tribes are gonna clash so break out some fear gas
We'll b**p this chump and melt his tiny b**** of brass
gonna catch this dwarf gonna stomp on his ball sack
take another wack then listen to his head crack
then were gonna wha wha wha? DM says were surrounded?
we're a**tounded while our hit points are getting pounded
(Ken)
All I know is that someone here is slacking
Hiding in the back cause his bravery is lacking
Now we battle Venger one more time
Who do I see at the back of the line
Tycho staring at the tops of his shoes
You'd think that someone cast a spell that turned him into glue
how we gonna triumph whan all he does is parry
Time to get into this battle instead of acting like a fairy
I better get the Def Author in on this
I think the dungeon master's gonna be a little p*****
(Tycho)
Tycho's verse:
Qu'elle heure est-il, m**********!
Qu'elle temps fait-il? Yo
So it's tycho with the tight flow toting syllables
Here's the syllabus: us is eminently killable!
g****** dm glonmed on to my sche-m, hit my lj, watch me post-it like 3M
Every party's got a player like me - rocking treachery, best belie
that I'm out to get the best of the
party I sold to a sentient mold, subterranean
arrangemens, y'all would never see the day again
geraniums up on that casket, closed
while i'm up to my helm in platinum and gold
but that dungeon master is a b******, I seen him
reroll my saving throw behind behind the game screen? an
incinerated by some lava trap
with spikes in the front, cold spikes in the back
and for this, you tore the corner of my character sheet? There goes my
thief, just like right click, delete? Just wait until the character
after this
one
s*** anachronistic with those akimbo guns
m**********!
What's with all the dice, I rolled low, can I roll twice
I don't know what character to be, but magic's nice
(Let me get this straight, you've never played this) - (J Mase)
I tried once or twice, but haven't messed with it in ages
I used to play the Bard's Tale, and that's
About as close as I ever came to rolling for stats
(It's cool, I'll help you out, and Drew will too) - (J Mase)
Hey where are the cheetos, and where's the mountain dew?
(J Mase)
Have a look at this sheet, it's complete because I made it
(I need to be a bard for sure, 'cause that's my favorite) - Glenn
That can be arranged, we'll just change it on the paper
(and I'll give you some cool items if you're on your best behaviour) - Drew
Here's where your hit points are, and here's your money
And the die that you'll be rolling the most is D 20
Mumblecore's in charge, 'cause he's the dungeon master
So listen to his story, as we set out for disaster
(Mumblecore)
"I put the magic in magic missile
Does That clear things up? (Uh, no) Well this will!
I'm the D to the M, man the el capitan
The Dapper Dan trapper man who's not a rapper fan and
I'm managing you and your clan (That's us!)
Telling you E-X-P or bust!
And I trust you'll dig the setting of our story
(is it somewhere that rocks?) Yeah, a Quarry"
(CHORUS)
Roll the Dice
And then tell me what it is
I want a twenty
Please don't let it be a critical miss
(Soda)
Chillin' in the basement 'cause it's Warcraft patch day
Time for D&D? I'm a Frontalittle mainstay
I've been chaotic neutral since age ten!
fought the dragon's den-spawn, men. I'm a star at gencon
Before we start I'll tell y'all: noone better do me wrong
I'm suspicious of some antics since they happen in every song
I've had some teammates who know how to ruin a campaign
But I'm hoping FAL won't give me reason to complain
(Jon Eric)
It's true, I've never seen a bot play tabletop
(What about that cyborg?) I heard they made him stop
(So we're in the clear?)
No, there's a problem here
The kinda thing that makes me say what the f***?
See there's a guy at this table, in this very game
Avoiding battles, acting lame
It's like Hoody-Hoo
He's stealing booty, too
(So who is it?) I ain't naming names... yet
(Savvy One)
Baccarat's on to something
He ain't frontin'
There's a traitor at the table
and he's leaving us with nothing
We do all the work, and like a jerk
he takes the gold
And by the time we realise it all the booty has been sold
And speaking of booty I got a brownie for that a**
Is there a ranger in the house, I think we better check for traps
He's a tricky little m****, and I wouldn't put it past him
When we find out where he's hiding,
Best believe I'm gonna blast him
(Repeat Chorus)
(Hoblit)
Hoblit is on the case fellow fronters
gonna a**emble our own fellowship of the whoop a**
Tribes are gonna clash so break out some fear gas
We'll b**p this chump and melt his tiny b**** of brass
gonna catch this dwarf gonna stomp on his ball sack
take another wack then listen to his head crack
then were gonna wha wha wha? DM says were surrounded?
we're a**tounded while our hit points are getting pounded
(Ken)
All I know is that someone here is slacking
Hiding in the back cause his bravery is lacking
Now we battle Venger one more time
Who do I see at the back of the line
Tycho staring at the tops of his shoes
You'd think that someone cast a spell that turned him into glue
how we gonna triumph whan all he does is parry
Time to get into this battle instead of acting like a fairy
I better get the Def Author in on this
I think the dungeon master's gonna be a little p*****
(Tycho)
Tycho's verse:
Qu'elle heure est-il, m**********!
Qu'elle temps fait-il? Yo
So it's tycho with the tight flow toting syllables
Here's the syllabus: us is eminently killable!
g****** dm glonmed on to my sche-m, hit my lj, watch me post-it like 3M
Every party's got a player like me - rocking treachery, best belie
that I'm out to get the best of the
party I sold to a sentient mold, subterranean
arrangemens, y'all would never see the day again
geraniums up on that casket, closed
while i'm up to my helm in platinum and gold
but that dungeon master is a b******, I seen him
reroll my saving throw behind behind the game screen? an
incinerated by some lava trap
with spikes in the front, cold spikes in the back
and for this, you tore the corner of my character sheet? There goes my
thief, just like right click, delete? Just wait until the character
after this
one
s*** anachronistic with those akimbo guns
m**********!