I was having dinner with a friend
I was telling a story and nearing the end
When his cellphone rang and he said "I gotta take this call"
So I waited for a minute or two
And then I did what I had to do
Grabbed the phone from his hand and threw it 'gainst the wall
And as it lay there on the ground
I picked my leg up and put my foot down
And smashed that evil thing to smithereens
CHORUS
'Cause I'm the cellphone vigilante so don't you take that call
When you're at the movie theatre or shopping at the mall
And if I here you talkin' bout your boring life
I'll make it end right now so I don't hafta hear it twice
It used to be only crazy folks
Talked to themselves and laughed at jokes
That no-one else but them could even hear
But since the cellphone came around
There's crazy folks all over town
And it's like they're all just yellin' in my ear
Now that they got text messaging
They're always thumbing on their thing
Don't know what they're doing, but it aint right
CHORUS
'Cause I'm the cellphone vigilante and you won't be here long
If you make your ringtone an annoying hip hop song
And if I see you swerving with a phone at your ear
The next time you get a call it'll be ringing in your rear
BRIDGE
I went up to Jerry and crushed his blackberry
I went up to Tony and I busted up his Sony
I went up to Phil his Nokia I did kill
And who knows you might be next
CHORUS
'Cause I'm the Cellphone vigilante so don't make me intervene
And hafta clean up your bad manners through rough and violent means
So put the cellphone down and take a little time
To walk all the way over to a safe land line
And that way I won't have to hurt you
I was telling a story and nearing the end
When his cellphone rang and he said "I gotta take this call"
So I waited for a minute or two
And then I did what I had to do
Grabbed the phone from his hand and threw it 'gainst the wall
And as it lay there on the ground
I picked my leg up and put my foot down
And smashed that evil thing to smithereens
CHORUS
'Cause I'm the cellphone vigilante so don't you take that call
When you're at the movie theatre or shopping at the mall
And if I here you talkin' bout your boring life
I'll make it end right now so I don't hafta hear it twice
It used to be only crazy folks
Talked to themselves and laughed at jokes
That no-one else but them could even hear
But since the cellphone came around
There's crazy folks all over town
And it's like they're all just yellin' in my ear
Now that they got text messaging
They're always thumbing on their thing
Don't know what they're doing, but it aint right
CHORUS
'Cause I'm the cellphone vigilante and you won't be here long
If you make your ringtone an annoying hip hop song
And if I see you swerving with a phone at your ear
The next time you get a call it'll be ringing in your rear
BRIDGE
I went up to Jerry and crushed his blackberry
I went up to Tony and I busted up his Sony
I went up to Phil his Nokia I did kill
And who knows you might be next
CHORUS
'Cause I'm the Cellphone vigilante so don't make me intervene
And hafta clean up your bad manners through rough and violent means
So put the cellphone down and take a little time
To walk all the way over to a safe land line
And that way I won't have to hurt you