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Do You Think I'm Disco? Lyrics

(What's happening, baby, and how the heck are you? My name is Tony. Would you care to dance? No? Hey, calm down, let me get you another pina colada! I mean, what did we join this exclusive disco club for anyway, you know? I mean, it cost a hundred dollars to join and we're supposed to dance! Don't you like my white 3-piece suit, my gold c**e spoon, gold razor blade, and gold Italian snaggle tooth, you know?)

I wear tight pants, I always stuff a sock in
It always makes the ladies start to talkin'
My shirt is open, I never use the b***ons
So I look hip, I work for E.F. Hutton
Do you think I'm disco
'Cause I spend so much time
Blow dryin' out my hair

Do you think I'm disco
'Cause I know the dance steps
Learned them all at Fred Astaire

(Look, I know, you don't want to dance 'cause like, there's a lot of creeps in here always hitting up on you. Let me tell you something, I'm not a creep! I mean, look at the way I am dressed, sweetheart! Look at my hair, it's perfect! I saw Saturday Night Fever 87 times! Please dance with me!)
Some people call me scum
'Cause I don't have a realistic set of values
And you know what
I'm beginning to maybe think they're right

(Hey, where are you going? Wait a second, honey! Let's just skip the dancing, come back here, and let's just go to my place! Do I live on the beach? No, I live in my car, I have a 280-Z! No, wait, where are you going? Let me have your phone number! Wait, come back! What do you mean, you don't have a phone? Let me have your address, I'll stop by and visit you! What do you mean you don't live anywhere?)

I like to dance with girls in sleazy dresses
Lipstick, nail charms, and makeup in excesses
Buy them a drink and try and get their number
Usually they are as cold as a cucumber
Do you think I'm disco
Am I superficial
Lookin' it's my only goal

Do you think I'm disco
Maybe it's not too late
To get into rock and roll

(ROCK AND ROLL!)

(I'll tell you something! I have never been happier, now that I'm into this rock and roll thing! I sold my white 3-piece suit at a garage sale last weekend; made $25.00! Got rid of my 280-Z; picked myself up a beat-up old '69 Dart! Melted down all my gold jewelry into a Led Zeppelin belt buckle! I mean, things are happening! Boy, it's so easy to be led astray by all those pictures of Margaret Trudeau in People Magazine, making you think you're supposed to get into disco! I was a teenage disco duck! Oh! I've been saved! Hallelujah! Oh!
Long live Rock and Roll!)
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