If I was the King
I would get myself a b******' crown
And I'd make all the b****** call me Sir Michael Starr
I'd have a castle and a b******' throne
And at night I'd go in the town
In a big stretch Hummer with a hot tub and a bar
If I was the King
I would outlaw clothes for chicks
So you could see if the shaved their p******
Or if they were hiding d***s
I'd lower the drinking age
So little kids could get drunk too
And I'd make it a f****** crime to wear a wedding ring
If I was the King
That'd be f*****' nice right?
I'd knock down all the schools
And put up licquor stores
And give free b***jobs to the strippers and the w****s
I would outlaw common sense
Feed the homeless to the wolves
And if you didn't like Steel Panther you'd go to jail!
If I was the King
I'd make beer the official food
And you'd never have to take the trash out
If you happen to be born a dude
You could buy hand grenades at Starbucks
And take a s*** right on the street
And I'd kill Katy Perry so I wouldn't have to hear her sing
If I was the King
Her comes the court jester man!
(Solo)
And if the m************ peasents didn't like it
I would tell them all to suck my d***
Suck my d***
Suck my d***
Legalize masturbation
At every strip joint in the nation
And the minimum cup size would have to be a double D
Oh yeah
But if you were in a band
You wouldn't have to use your hand
There'd be mandatory b******* for guys like you and me!
If I was the King
Megan Fox would be my Queen
But I'd still f*** Christie Brinkley
And any girl older than 16
I'd execute One Direction
And drop a nuke on the Middle East
But I'd take the oil first so we wouldn't have to feel the sting
If I was the King
If I was the King
If I was the King
I would get myself a b******' crown
And I'd make all the b****** call me Sir Michael Starr
I'd have a castle and a b******' throne
And at night I'd go in the town
In a big stretch Hummer with a hot tub and a bar
If I was the King
I would outlaw clothes for chicks
So you could see if the shaved their p******
Or if they were hiding d***s
I'd lower the drinking age
So little kids could get drunk too
And I'd make it a f****** crime to wear a wedding ring
If I was the King
That'd be f*****' nice right?
I'd knock down all the schools
And put up licquor stores
And give free b***jobs to the strippers and the w****s
I would outlaw common sense
Feed the homeless to the wolves
And if you didn't like Steel Panther you'd go to jail!
If I was the King
I'd make beer the official food
And you'd never have to take the trash out
If you happen to be born a dude
You could buy hand grenades at Starbucks
And take a s*** right on the street
And I'd kill Katy Perry so I wouldn't have to hear her sing
If I was the King
Her comes the court jester man!
(Solo)
And if the m************ peasents didn't like it
I would tell them all to suck my d***
Suck my d***
Suck my d***
Legalize masturbation
At every strip joint in the nation
And the minimum cup size would have to be a double D
Oh yeah
But if you were in a band
You wouldn't have to use your hand
There'd be mandatory b******* for guys like you and me!
If I was the King
Megan Fox would be my Queen
But I'd still f*** Christie Brinkley
And any girl older than 16
I'd execute One Direction
And drop a nuke on the Middle East
But I'd take the oil first so we wouldn't have to feel the sting
If I was the King
If I was the King
If I was the King