It's Not Cricket Lyrics

She used to do a topless down at the Surrey Docks
With tassels on her whatsits she did a t'riffic job
Of raising all the eyebrows of every lunchtime mob
She went with all the t*****s who kick about a ball
They say their club's the greatest, and she has kissed them all
At the Arndale Center, she's up against the wall
I can't name names cause that's not cricket
I can't name names that would put me in it
But that's another story in the finish
I saw them at the pictures a tangled heap of love
He had so many women, but only classy stuff
I saw him at the clinic, a pink card up his cuff
One holiday in Bognor a stag night hit the town
The groom is in the car park with his trousers down
But that's another story that won't be going round
I can't name names cause that's not cricket
I can't name names that would put me in it
But that's another story in the finish
The Deptford had a beano to Southend for the night
With forty crates of lager, to see the Southend lights
The got home for their breakfast p***** out of their minds
This girl gave me the minces so I asked her for a dance
And in the death I kissed her and so I took a chance
And when I went to touch her, she tried to break my arm
I can't name names cause that's not cricket
I can't name names that would put me in it
But that's another story in the finish