hope is the only thing you can have when trying to recover. all the time in the world can't fix a thing. i'll just end up fooling myself. and that's the only way to get through - is to forget. but forgetting the facts does not change them. it won't change them. there is no getting through unless my world turns back around. and the only chance for that lies within hope. it lies in hope. tiny and weak. almost trickery. it fills every inch of my body inside, but it's nearly nothing everywhere else. it's the only drop of water i can place in this desert and pray something grows. i'll die holding my breath. i'll die hoping. i'll die hoping for you. i hope... i hope... that's the only thing that i will never give up on i hope. you're never not on my mind. i hope. i hope. i love you. and do you know that you're that last human thought that will go through my mind when i die. you'll always remain in my heart and in my hopes. my probably futile hopes. but it's all i've got. and it's all i'll ever have. i hope. i hope. and hey - i love you. God i love you. i love you. i loved you. i love you. i love you.