I Need An Arm Lyrics

I'm mangled horribly
Lost an arm and a family
My job I can't go back
Wrong way on a one arm track
Can't rock, can't w***, can't mop
My search will never stop
Sweet holy s*** I need an arm
So...
Me and lefty will search high and low
So let's go...

Cause you know
If you're out there
I will find you
Cause my throbbin' stump just won't do
Now I'm achin' and crampin'
Cause lefty's been workin' for two

Oh baby girl
If I get you back it's gonna be manicure city
I'm talkin' expensive hand creams
Cuticle rubs
And my solemn promise to be a one hand man
I travelled here and there
Looked g****** everywhere
My arm I cannot find
My d*** shrunk back inside

Sweet holy s*** I need an arm
So...
Me and lefty did search high and low
But oh no...
This ain't the way that it should be
You see..
One lonely g****** amputee
That's me!
I'm dyin for that day
When I don't have to say
I need an arm

Why'd you have to leave me?
When all I wanted to do was love you
Now I gots a hole in my heart the size of a fist, literally
As you punched it on the way out of my life
Now I'm on my knees
Dreamin' of the day when I can clap again
Give myself a high five
Flip the double bird
Or do shadow puppets for Sol and Ricky
Why Righty? Why'd you have to leave your sister and me?
Why? WHY!?!