these months have been unforgiving, to watch her slowly lose pace. and i sleep standing up, or not at all. but these feelings can't amount to the struggle i see in that room. but within it, i see a smile and i'm not sure where that courage comes from. and if i wrote a last "goodbye" i'd be calling it all quits, giving it all up. i know the smells and sounds, all a little too well. so i struggle to watch this day in and out. but long ago we built this fire and it still glows. we fan the flames and it fills me up. neither rain nor snow deadens it. with closed eyes i wonder the pain, my heart fills, cries and holds her.
explanation
this is really written from the stand point of my father and the way i imagine he may have felt and thought as he watched my mother slowly lose her battle with cancer. as a young child i know it was hard for me, but i was also sheltered a bit from what was really happening. for him, to watch the love of his life succumb to a horrible disease at such a young age, i can only try to imagine how very hard it was, how indescribable it must have been, and how these feelings must still resonate within him today.
explanation
this is really written from the stand point of my father and the way i imagine he may have felt and thought as he watched my mother slowly lose her battle with cancer. as a young child i know it was hard for me, but i was also sheltered a bit from what was really happening. for him, to watch the love of his life succumb to a horrible disease at such a young age, i can only try to imagine how very hard it was, how indescribable it must have been, and how these feelings must still resonate within him today.