Dog and Pony Show Lyrics

If I could walk, I'd be a miner
If I could talk, I'd be a preacher

If I was a preacher
Tell you what: I'd save a million souls - even you
If I was a miner
Tell you what: I'd be a d*** good one
This ain't a record
Neither a joke
Got us all worked up
And left us naked out here in the sun
But who could say it's sad?
I attach no importance to it
just because of my hand
just because of my shriveled little hand
I could be a baseball player

Doesn't surprise me now
even though we had a map
took three days to find
Local redneck stare
Taylor from Pizmo
At the dog and pony show.