All my life I've been..
bent as a corkscrew, bent as an 'air pin
bent as a figure eight.
Bent as a wish bone, bent as a bed spring
now I'm bent on Going Straight.
I'm goin' straight, I am,
Straight as an arra'
I've paid the price and done me time.
I'm goin' straight, I am,
Along the straight and narra'
And I don't mean straight back to crime.
I'm going straight, I am,
Straight up, I swear it,
Though I hate to disappoint the boys in blue.
I'm goin' straight I am,
They'll have to grin and bare it
And find something worthwhile to do.
The day I was born on a winters morn'
I was cuddled and kissed
but in that moment of bliss,
The midwife looked at me fist
"Its clenched so tight.." she said
"..For such a tiny thing."
She didn't realise
I'd nicked her wedding ring!
All my life I've been
Footloose and f***less,
Rowdy and wreckless
Blaming it all on fate.
Never relenting,
now I'm repenting
Just before it gets too late.
I'm goin' straight, I am,
Straight as an arra'
Bein' bents habbits I'm about to kick
I'm going straight I am along the straight and narra'
Cos I ain't going back to no nick!
(whistling)
now I must admit
when I think of it
that it wont be a game.
It was always the same,
you give a dog a bad name.
Some geezer robbed a pet shop, just last week,
I was pulled in on suspicious, what a flamin' cheek!
(spoken) Anyone wanna buy a c***atoo?
All my life I've been..
bent as a corkscrew, bent as an 'air pin
bent as a figure eight
bent as a wish bone, bent as a bed spring
now I'm bent on Going Straight.
I'm goin' straight, I am,
Straight as an arra'
I've paid the price and done me time.
I'm goin' straight, I am,
Along the straight and narra'
And I don't mean straight back..
and I don't mean straight to crime.
bent as a corkscrew, bent as an 'air pin
bent as a figure eight.
Bent as a wish bone, bent as a bed spring
now I'm bent on Going Straight.
I'm goin' straight, I am,
Straight as an arra'
I've paid the price and done me time.
I'm goin' straight, I am,
Along the straight and narra'
And I don't mean straight back to crime.
I'm going straight, I am,
Straight up, I swear it,
Though I hate to disappoint the boys in blue.
I'm goin' straight I am,
They'll have to grin and bare it
And find something worthwhile to do.
The day I was born on a winters morn'
I was cuddled and kissed
but in that moment of bliss,
The midwife looked at me fist
"Its clenched so tight.." she said
"..For such a tiny thing."
She didn't realise
I'd nicked her wedding ring!
All my life I've been
Footloose and f***less,
Rowdy and wreckless
Blaming it all on fate.
Never relenting,
now I'm repenting
Just before it gets too late.
I'm goin' straight, I am,
Straight as an arra'
Bein' bents habbits I'm about to kick
I'm going straight I am along the straight and narra'
Cos I ain't going back to no nick!
(whistling)
now I must admit
when I think of it
that it wont be a game.
It was always the same,
you give a dog a bad name.
Some geezer robbed a pet shop, just last week,
I was pulled in on suspicious, what a flamin' cheek!
(spoken) Anyone wanna buy a c***atoo?
All my life I've been..
bent as a corkscrew, bent as an 'air pin
bent as a figure eight
bent as a wish bone, bent as a bed spring
now I'm bent on Going Straight.
I'm goin' straight, I am,
Straight as an arra'
I've paid the price and done me time.
I'm goin' straight, I am,
Along the straight and narra'
And I don't mean straight back..
and I don't mean straight to crime.