When you're a flightless bird with wings, sometimes the humor of a bitter god just loses all its novelty. So now you get too drunk to sleep. You spend the night driving with one eye closed to keep the lines from doubling. Replaying the gore- y scene incessantly... forgot the safe word was "imaginary"... forgot about my poor selective memory... feeling like a fat kid at the beach who's still weighing the pros and cons of weak bulimic teeth. Means that never reach an end, that's what you get for living in your head. You breathe 3 A.M. breath and tell yourself that this is for the best.