[Verse 1]
In December of '81 way before rhyme was relevant
A child was born during a winter storm to Evaline
My pops was Eddie, I don't really think he was ready
The n**** left me d*** near as I came out the belly
From what they tell me from day one I have always been heavy
Not weight wise, they say I have been here already
I'm starting to believe em, sparking my weed
And I'm coughing and wheezing, I talk with demons
Ghosts are real, I swear to God I see em
In the back of my mind I travel back and through time
When I was nine and I would practice this rhyme
But my step-pops said stop or get your head popped
If I did not I swear ahk he'd put me in headlocks
My feet dangling, just kicking his thighs
He's six two, I'm three five, eye to eye we meet high
See I got pain bottled up so deep
And so much stress it's like my first CD on repeat
Number nine when I rhyme and these herbs see me
Up on stage with artists raised they're like hey look at Reef
Then I'm okay but when I lay at the end of the day
I'm dealing with grown men issues and I'm still underage
Underpaid and overworked, I feel like I'm worthless
I kept these facts under wrap but now I pull back the curtains
Till my situation reverses these verses will serve the purpose of
Cleansing my soul until it's dirtless yo
[Chorus]
You don't know what it's like to be me (This is my life)
And y'all swear I got it so easy (This is my life)
But you don't know the half, believe me
The pain in my heart exceeds me, ask my n**** Sleepy (This is my life)
So much stress, ain't nothing changed dawg (This is my life)
So I get high until my brain's gone (This is my life)
Until the pain's gone, the same song that plays on
In my head making my days long (This is my life)
[Verse 2]
I stare at these questions, my rhymes are my homework comparing these lessons
Preparing for my weekly therapy sessions
Aggression and anger combined with a weak mind, that's danger
The eyes of a painter trying to paint the eyes of a stranger
That's why it's hard for me to open my heart
When those I let in have just stepped in it
And broken my heart, not just women
But those who claimed to be my n***** too
Those fake father figure dudes, I figured you would try to reach me
Eventually you try and leave me but why did you leave me?
The only question to you I pose, I'm okay though
I'm still alive, trying to survive in this Holocaust maze
Spend my days in a daze wanting to fly away
It's hard to stay focused when these jokers in your face
Just to get paid but yet my pockets is still flat
My knowledge is still intact but as years go by dawg I feel that
I'll never make it, record execs like, "You're not good enough."
Kid face it, the next stop hip hop sanctum
My mother's basement remembering the good old days
I can't take it, the possibility I never sign a deal
It didn't matter now I'm getting older, it's getting colder
I need a shield or career, year or two I have to be noticed
The greatest rapper since the other two were massacred, at least they were famous
I'm popular to you but everywhere else I'm nameless
I guess that's how the game is, the older I get the younger I wish I still was
No longer deal drugs but still get high to feel love
I'm real buzzed for a minute then it begins to escape me
These demons I pushed behind are forcing themselves to face me
Maybe I'm crazy, nah I think I'm too sane for my own good
I know I zone hoods to find what makes me spit like this
And tick like that and I flip like that and if I fall I get right back
On the right track until I'm dead gone
But the only tracks I follow are the ones in my headphones, yo
[Chorus]
You don't know what it's like to be me (This is my life)
And y'all swear I got it so easy (This is my life)
But you don't know the half, believe me
The pain in my heart exceeds me, ask my n**** Sleepy (This is my life)
So much stress, ain't nothing changed dawg (This is my life)
So I get high until my brain's gone (This is my life)
Until the pain's gone, it's same song that plays on
In my head making my days long (This is my life)
[Verse 3]
This nine-to-five grind got my mind losing its juices
Come inside and you'll find that even though I'm popular and I know how to rhyme
Everything ain't what it seems, I just know how to lie
To my peers for years but I can no longer hide
To that man in the mirror and when I look in his eyes
I see a child who has no idea of what he's doing
Sometimes I wonder if this music will only lead to my ruin
What I'm pursuing is to get rich doing rap songs
Old head saying you ain't that strong, you need something to fall back on
Here's the dilemma, lose life or become a winner
End up a working-class stiff or flip back to sinner
Either way I feel the saga will never conclude
You need to know my views before you step in my shoes
My life's become a full-scale drama of mass confusion
I've yet to scratch the surface, already I'm disillusioned
So either you're part of the problem or offer a solution
Cause people I used to love are now considered nuisance
It's been proven, you dudes got no love for me
You place me on a pedestal and pull the rug from under me
It's kind of sick, these cowards that build my confidence
Only to hide the dominant the presence of their incompetence
It's not that I'm being selfish not trying to share the wealth
But please don't act like you're in my life for yourself
I'm a rhyme stand-out, n***** hands out, they want to kick it
Ride my back like rap's Amtrak without their ticket
Check your bags at the door along with your ego
Cause it wasn't until the high life that I talked to you people
Now I walk with you people, all of a sudden n***** acting like
Cousins and brothers, m*********** you play a part of nothing
Waiting for the moment for my career to start jumping
So you can be right there when the cheese begins to cut in
And here's a percentage, get the f*** away from me, I'm finished
The jig is up, give it up, just stop pretending
What a tangled web we weave, got me trapped in the nonsense
But I will no longer ignore my conscience
In December of '81 way before rhyme was relevant
A child was born during a winter storm to Evaline
My pops was Eddie, I don't really think he was ready
The n**** left me d*** near as I came out the belly
From what they tell me from day one I have always been heavy
Not weight wise, they say I have been here already
I'm starting to believe em, sparking my weed
And I'm coughing and wheezing, I talk with demons
Ghosts are real, I swear to God I see em
In the back of my mind I travel back and through time
When I was nine and I would practice this rhyme
But my step-pops said stop or get your head popped
If I did not I swear ahk he'd put me in headlocks
My feet dangling, just kicking his thighs
He's six two, I'm three five, eye to eye we meet high
See I got pain bottled up so deep
And so much stress it's like my first CD on repeat
Number nine when I rhyme and these herbs see me
Up on stage with artists raised they're like hey look at Reef
Then I'm okay but when I lay at the end of the day
I'm dealing with grown men issues and I'm still underage
Underpaid and overworked, I feel like I'm worthless
I kept these facts under wrap but now I pull back the curtains
Till my situation reverses these verses will serve the purpose of
Cleansing my soul until it's dirtless yo
[Chorus]
You don't know what it's like to be me (This is my life)
And y'all swear I got it so easy (This is my life)
But you don't know the half, believe me
The pain in my heart exceeds me, ask my n**** Sleepy (This is my life)
So much stress, ain't nothing changed dawg (This is my life)
So I get high until my brain's gone (This is my life)
Until the pain's gone, the same song that plays on
In my head making my days long (This is my life)
[Verse 2]
I stare at these questions, my rhymes are my homework comparing these lessons
Preparing for my weekly therapy sessions
Aggression and anger combined with a weak mind, that's danger
The eyes of a painter trying to paint the eyes of a stranger
That's why it's hard for me to open my heart
When those I let in have just stepped in it
And broken my heart, not just women
But those who claimed to be my n***** too
Those fake father figure dudes, I figured you would try to reach me
Eventually you try and leave me but why did you leave me?
The only question to you I pose, I'm okay though
I'm still alive, trying to survive in this Holocaust maze
Spend my days in a daze wanting to fly away
It's hard to stay focused when these jokers in your face
Just to get paid but yet my pockets is still flat
My knowledge is still intact but as years go by dawg I feel that
I'll never make it, record execs like, "You're not good enough."
Kid face it, the next stop hip hop sanctum
My mother's basement remembering the good old days
I can't take it, the possibility I never sign a deal
It didn't matter now I'm getting older, it's getting colder
I need a shield or career, year or two I have to be noticed
The greatest rapper since the other two were massacred, at least they were famous
I'm popular to you but everywhere else I'm nameless
I guess that's how the game is, the older I get the younger I wish I still was
No longer deal drugs but still get high to feel love
I'm real buzzed for a minute then it begins to escape me
These demons I pushed behind are forcing themselves to face me
Maybe I'm crazy, nah I think I'm too sane for my own good
I know I zone hoods to find what makes me spit like this
And tick like that and I flip like that and if I fall I get right back
On the right track until I'm dead gone
But the only tracks I follow are the ones in my headphones, yo
[Chorus]
You don't know what it's like to be me (This is my life)
And y'all swear I got it so easy (This is my life)
But you don't know the half, believe me
The pain in my heart exceeds me, ask my n**** Sleepy (This is my life)
So much stress, ain't nothing changed dawg (This is my life)
So I get high until my brain's gone (This is my life)
Until the pain's gone, it's same song that plays on
In my head making my days long (This is my life)
[Verse 3]
This nine-to-five grind got my mind losing its juices
Come inside and you'll find that even though I'm popular and I know how to rhyme
Everything ain't what it seems, I just know how to lie
To my peers for years but I can no longer hide
To that man in the mirror and when I look in his eyes
I see a child who has no idea of what he's doing
Sometimes I wonder if this music will only lead to my ruin
What I'm pursuing is to get rich doing rap songs
Old head saying you ain't that strong, you need something to fall back on
Here's the dilemma, lose life or become a winner
End up a working-class stiff or flip back to sinner
Either way I feel the saga will never conclude
You need to know my views before you step in my shoes
My life's become a full-scale drama of mass confusion
I've yet to scratch the surface, already I'm disillusioned
So either you're part of the problem or offer a solution
Cause people I used to love are now considered nuisance
It's been proven, you dudes got no love for me
You place me on a pedestal and pull the rug from under me
It's kind of sick, these cowards that build my confidence
Only to hide the dominant the presence of their incompetence
It's not that I'm being selfish not trying to share the wealth
But please don't act like you're in my life for yourself
I'm a rhyme stand-out, n***** hands out, they want to kick it
Ride my back like rap's Amtrak without their ticket
Check your bags at the door along with your ego
Cause it wasn't until the high life that I talked to you people
Now I walk with you people, all of a sudden n***** acting like
Cousins and brothers, m*********** you play a part of nothing
Waiting for the moment for my career to start jumping
So you can be right there when the cheese begins to cut in
And here's a percentage, get the f*** away from me, I'm finished
The jig is up, give it up, just stop pretending
What a tangled web we weave, got me trapped in the nonsense
But I will no longer ignore my conscience