My new driver's license photo
Makes me look like Quasimoto
And all my clothes are styled for me
By Minnesota Fats
The diet drink I live on
Soon may take the place of Decon
Heard it killed 8-million Laboratory rats
Every night I dream of Ding Dongs
That are big enough for King Kong
And someday I may just be that big myself.
Stepped on the scales, put in a dime
Card came out, said "One at a time"
I tell ya friends, I really need some help
[chorus]
Cause I'm fat
I feel so fat
The bottoms of my feet
Are the only parts of me that's flat
In a society where thin is in
And lean is where it's at
Fat. Oh,hoo, hoo oo...Why do I have to be so fat?
You're so fat [background voices]
Started workouts with Jane Fonda
When I couldn't get in my Honda
I's determined I'd turn all my flab to lean
I would hear of some new diet
And I'd run right out and try it
Didn't eat a thing for weeks that wasn't green.
Every week down at the fat club
I would proudly stand up
Tell my weight loss, and give my testimony
Lost 50 pounds, I's feeling great
Just had one drink to celebrate
And went right out and ate
a french-fried shetland pony
[Chorus]
[begin standup comedy]:
Somebody put a b**ber sticker on my car
Said honk if you've got groceries
I's just standing on a corner
And a cop came over, and asked me to break it up
Evel Knievel called
Wants to jump me
Earl Sheib wouln't paint me
for eighty-nine ninety-five
Good Year called
Wants me to join the fleet
Cover the next Superbowl
All the chairs in my house got seatbelts
Makes me look like Quasimoto
And all my clothes are styled for me
By Minnesota Fats
The diet drink I live on
Soon may take the place of Decon
Heard it killed 8-million Laboratory rats
Every night I dream of Ding Dongs
That are big enough for King Kong
And someday I may just be that big myself.
Stepped on the scales, put in a dime
Card came out, said "One at a time"
I tell ya friends, I really need some help
[chorus]
Cause I'm fat
I feel so fat
The bottoms of my feet
Are the only parts of me that's flat
In a society where thin is in
And lean is where it's at
Fat. Oh,hoo, hoo oo...Why do I have to be so fat?
You're so fat [background voices]
Started workouts with Jane Fonda
When I couldn't get in my Honda
I's determined I'd turn all my flab to lean
I would hear of some new diet
And I'd run right out and try it
Didn't eat a thing for weeks that wasn't green.
Every week down at the fat club
I would proudly stand up
Tell my weight loss, and give my testimony
Lost 50 pounds, I's feeling great
Just had one drink to celebrate
And went right out and ate
a french-fried shetland pony
[Chorus]
[begin standup comedy]:
Somebody put a b**ber sticker on my car
Said honk if you've got groceries
I's just standing on a corner
And a cop came over, and asked me to break it up
Evel Knievel called
Wants to jump me
Earl Sheib wouln't paint me
for eighty-nine ninety-five
Good Year called
Wants me to join the fleet
Cover the next Superbowl
All the chairs in my house got seatbelts