The Universal Adjective Song Lyrics

I guess I must've learned that word
When I was just a child
But how the f*** would I know
It would drive my teachers wild
It just seemed so descriptive
When I read it off the wall
I shouted it in the classroom
And had to stand in the f*****' hall
You know that I refined its use
When I was in the Navy
I learned to eat defensively
And say "Pass the f*****' gravy"
They taught me how to f*** around
And live it up on leave
The ways I've learned to use that word
You wouldn't f*****' believe

Oh the universal adjective is
f*****' up my life
f*****' up my life (Yeah)
f*****' up my life
I lost so many friends
I even lost my f*****' wife
The universal adjective is
f*****' up my life
I was sittin' in a bar one night
All f***** up on tequila
My wife comes in all f*****' mad
Says "I'll f*****' see ya"
I really didn't understand
Just what the f*** she meant
Until she took me into court
And she took every f*****' cent
(Sing along)
Oh the universal adjective is
f*****' up my life
f*****' up my life (Yeah)
f*****' up my life
I lost so many friends
I even lost my f*****' wife
The universal adjective is
f*****' up my life