More human than human, I can do it all
French kiss, smoke a splif, give a s*** about baseball
I come home at night to my robot wife, drink a light beer and watch me a DVD.
I looked good, you can't even tell, they had me fooled
Implanted memories of p***rty and pre-school,
Girls that broke my heart, and dark nights in the summer,
Just a string of primary numbers.
Didn't bother me none, before I knew
I'm a slave, it's OK, I got things to do
but then I'm sitting there at work when my email blinks
and It's from the big boss but it wasn't for me.
It's just another memo about our robot line
"See attached schematics detailing the robot mind."
And I find that when I looked close all I see is a blueprint to manufacture ME!
CHORUS: (2x)
I'm a robot programmed not to know that I'm a robot
but some dumb f*** emailed me the
computer code that makes up my soul
now I'm running around trying to forget what I know.
Mad, stunned, a little bit hurt
How many people at work know what I just found out?
Round 'bout noon, my boss calls,
wants to see me in his office, but I stall
for as long as I can, but the man comes
down on my floor before I throw a tantrum.
I can't run, so I sit there with his hand on my shoulder saying, "Listen, Pete. You've been a real soldier."
Said he was sorry that I saw that email and he was hoping that I wouldn't quit the firm.
He told me that I was a joy to work with,
then brown-nosed me so hard I started to squirm.
Concerned looks on the faces of the people I work with
and lots of small talk with the robot issue skirted.
Made me nervous, so I rolled up and I asked my boss if I can have the afternoon off.
CHORUS (2x)
Pete Miser, keeps cats guessin', wonderin' what's next.
Lucky for me, it was a Friday, so I stayed away from the office for the whole stinkin' weekend
My dark mood deepened into a dull depression,
leaving me with even more d*** questions, like
"What the hell do I tell my robot kids?" and
"How long does a healthy robot live?" and
"How did I make it through the airport x-rays? Or was that one of those fake memories?"
It ain't easy knowing the truth, I'm blowing a fuse
My soul feels funny like there's a hole in my shoe
I need a moment or two. Let me go over the clues
and drink a case of Bud Lite, it's still sobering news.
I got a few things to do, and even more to put in order
Walk into the kitchen trippin', there's my wife and baby daughter
And they can see by the look on my face so I sit them down and tell them I got something to say.
Honey... Yeah
Snookums... What?
You're not going to like this... WHAT DID YOU DO THIS TIME!!!???
CHORUS (4x)
Boss: "That's... that's the biggest thing I want to impress upon you. We want you here, we need you here. So just take some time off, take the day off... take the week off... and just sleep on it and think about it and come back fresh on Monday and I know, I know your answer will be 'I want to stay, I'm happy here.' And that's what we want, we want you to be happy and we're going to work twords that.. twords that goal, together, mutually. It's a mutual understanding."
French kiss, smoke a splif, give a s*** about baseball
I come home at night to my robot wife, drink a light beer and watch me a DVD.
I looked good, you can't even tell, they had me fooled
Implanted memories of p***rty and pre-school,
Girls that broke my heart, and dark nights in the summer,
Just a string of primary numbers.
Didn't bother me none, before I knew
I'm a slave, it's OK, I got things to do
but then I'm sitting there at work when my email blinks
and It's from the big boss but it wasn't for me.
It's just another memo about our robot line
"See attached schematics detailing the robot mind."
And I find that when I looked close all I see is a blueprint to manufacture ME!
CHORUS: (2x)
I'm a robot programmed not to know that I'm a robot
but some dumb f*** emailed me the
computer code that makes up my soul
now I'm running around trying to forget what I know.
Mad, stunned, a little bit hurt
How many people at work know what I just found out?
Round 'bout noon, my boss calls,
wants to see me in his office, but I stall
for as long as I can, but the man comes
down on my floor before I throw a tantrum.
I can't run, so I sit there with his hand on my shoulder saying, "Listen, Pete. You've been a real soldier."
Said he was sorry that I saw that email and he was hoping that I wouldn't quit the firm.
He told me that I was a joy to work with,
then brown-nosed me so hard I started to squirm.
Concerned looks on the faces of the people I work with
and lots of small talk with the robot issue skirted.
Made me nervous, so I rolled up and I asked my boss if I can have the afternoon off.
CHORUS (2x)
Pete Miser, keeps cats guessin', wonderin' what's next.
Lucky for me, it was a Friday, so I stayed away from the office for the whole stinkin' weekend
My dark mood deepened into a dull depression,
leaving me with even more d*** questions, like
"What the hell do I tell my robot kids?" and
"How long does a healthy robot live?" and
"How did I make it through the airport x-rays? Or was that one of those fake memories?"
It ain't easy knowing the truth, I'm blowing a fuse
My soul feels funny like there's a hole in my shoe
I need a moment or two. Let me go over the clues
and drink a case of Bud Lite, it's still sobering news.
I got a few things to do, and even more to put in order
Walk into the kitchen trippin', there's my wife and baby daughter
And they can see by the look on my face so I sit them down and tell them I got something to say.
Honey... Yeah
Snookums... What?
You're not going to like this... WHAT DID YOU DO THIS TIME!!!???
CHORUS (4x)
Boss: "That's... that's the biggest thing I want to impress upon you. We want you here, we need you here. So just take some time off, take the day off... take the week off... and just sleep on it and think about it and come back fresh on Monday and I know, I know your answer will be 'I want to stay, I'm happy here.' And that's what we want, we want you to be happy and we're going to work twords that.. twords that goal, together, mutually. It's a mutual understanding."