Buffett Night (Tonight, I'm A Parrothead) Lyrics

As the son of a son of a lawyer
I never get home before nine
The folks at work all think I'm a jerk
I never see my kids and they don't seem to mind
Yes, I'm stressed, and aggression's got the better of me
My second ex-wife says I oughta get a life
And the third and fourth agree

But tonight Jimmy Buffet is comin' to town
Pack up the Beemer: salt, lime, and tequiler
And mingle with the soccer moms and 9-to-5 clowns
Got no use for these suburbanite losers
I'm above them in every way
But tonight, I'm a Parrothead
And they're okay

I'm allergic to shellfish and mangos
I don't enjoy the beach or the sun
Hard for a man to get a tropical tan
Wearing SPF one-hundred-and-one
I guess Key West is impressive, but I've never been
Can't even have Old Bay® or a Filet-O-Fish®
Without needing a Dramamine®

But tonight I'm in the crowd and I'm singin' along
Year after year, you'll find me here
Gettin' the words to "Margaritaville" wrong
Most of the time I'd rather kiss a mime
Than to hang out with your kind
But tonight, I'm a Parrothead
And I don't mind
I know I ain't no sailor
My khaki shorts are custom tailored
And my Hawaiian shirt's from Calvin Klein®
And I don't own his albums
I only came here to get loaded
And hit on your wife

But tonight, the Coral Reefers are gonna be playin'
I'll be the drunken a** throwing up on the grass
And shoutin' out my tenth request for "Fire and Rain"
Most of the year I'm 'bout as full of cheer
As a constipated bear
But tonight, I'm a Parrothead
I know you wish that I was dead
But for tonight, I'm a Parrothead
And I don't care