This song is about a problem that I have...
Frequently
There are three, three, three kinds of erections
Some are s**ual
Some occur during periods of nervous tension
But there's a mysterious third kind
That no one really understands
It happens when your shlong decides
To take matters into its own hands
No reason b****
No reason b****
It baffles scientists
No reason b****
This morning I was having breakfast
At the Midtown diner
The bagel was delicious
And the coleslaw couldn't be finer
I got a weird look from the waitress
When I asked her for the check
I looked down and realized
I was one hundred percent erect
No reason b****
No reason b****
I like coleslaw but not that much
No reason b****
Mailman: Hi! Welcome to the post office.
Danny: Thanks! I just need to mail this package.
Mailman: No problem, just place it on the scale.
Danny: Sure thing!
Oh! Oh god! I... I can't right now!
Mailman: Why not?
Danny: I... I have to go. I have a, uh... doctor's appointment at the dentist's!
Now things are a little awkward
Between my mailman and I
That was not my best lie
I was just covering up for my
No reason b****
No reason b****
That was the wrong kind of package to mail
No reason b****
Zookeeper: Hi! Welcome to the zoo!
Danny: Great! I love the zoo! Look at all those monkeys!
Zookeeper: Actually, those technically aren't monkeys, they're macaques.
Danny: Wow! Macaque's really hairy.
Danny: Uh... So, what time does the zoo close?
Zookeeper: About eight o'clock.
Danny: Great! That gives me a chance t- Oh god.
Oh, not... not now! Not in front of the children!
Why have you forsaken me lord!?
This is no laughing matter
This is not some kind of game
I can tuck away my johnson
But I can never tuck away the shame
It can happen anytime
It can happen anywhere
When the Loch Ness Monster
Decides he wants to randomly come up for air
No reason b****
No reason b****
You're ruining my life
No reason b****
No reason b****
No reason b****
Why....?
Frequently
There are three, three, three kinds of erections
Some are s**ual
Some occur during periods of nervous tension
But there's a mysterious third kind
That no one really understands
It happens when your shlong decides
To take matters into its own hands
No reason b****
No reason b****
It baffles scientists
No reason b****
This morning I was having breakfast
At the Midtown diner
The bagel was delicious
And the coleslaw couldn't be finer
I got a weird look from the waitress
When I asked her for the check
I looked down and realized
I was one hundred percent erect
No reason b****
No reason b****
I like coleslaw but not that much
No reason b****
Mailman: Hi! Welcome to the post office.
Danny: Thanks! I just need to mail this package.
Mailman: No problem, just place it on the scale.
Danny: Sure thing!
Oh! Oh god! I... I can't right now!
Mailman: Why not?
Danny: I... I have to go. I have a, uh... doctor's appointment at the dentist's!
Now things are a little awkward
Between my mailman and I
That was not my best lie
I was just covering up for my
No reason b****
No reason b****
That was the wrong kind of package to mail
No reason b****
Zookeeper: Hi! Welcome to the zoo!
Danny: Great! I love the zoo! Look at all those monkeys!
Zookeeper: Actually, those technically aren't monkeys, they're macaques.
Danny: Wow! Macaque's really hairy.
Danny: Uh... So, what time does the zoo close?
Zookeeper: About eight o'clock.
Danny: Great! That gives me a chance t- Oh god.
Oh, not... not now! Not in front of the children!
Why have you forsaken me lord!?
This is no laughing matter
This is not some kind of game
I can tuck away my johnson
But I can never tuck away the shame
It can happen anytime
It can happen anywhere
When the Loch Ness Monster
Decides he wants to randomly come up for air
No reason b****
No reason b****
You're ruining my life
No reason b****
No reason b****
No reason b****
Why....?