Beard l*** Lyrics

Look at my facial hair
Oh man, s*** d***, it's everywhere
Where'd you get that beard?
I grew it
How do you keep it so clean?
I shampoo it
Yeah!
I really wish I could grow a mustache
Why don't you?
Well, frankly, I don't have the cash
You gotta take care of your facial hair
Otherwise it gets scruffy and bare

The elements of style
For the beard owner
The essential manual
For owners of beards

Trim it, cut it, comb it, style it
Clean it, and scent with violet
Love it, but don't get violent
Rub it, but not in public
Eat with it, but don't get messy
The only rule is keep it classy

I was on a fishing boat
And I tried to grow a beard
But it wouldn't float
Three weeks later, out at sea
I realized this beard
Wasn't working for me
I tried to shave it off
But I had no cream
Everyone on the boat
Could hear me scream!
The elements of style
For the beard owner
The essential manual
For owners of beards

l*** for me
And l*** for you
l*** for each other
Baby be my boo
l*** for me
And l*** for you
l*** for my beard
Look at what I grew

l*** for me
And l*** for you
l*** for each other
Baby be my boo

l*** for me
And l*** for you
l*** for my beard
Look at what I grew

Look at my s**y facial hair
Oh man, s*** d***, it's everywhere!

It's everywhere
It's everywhere
It's everywhere
It's everywhere