I love this town like an unmade bed
I love this town of the living dead
I love this town gonna paint it red
If I can spare a minute
I love this town where curtains twitch
Where this door scratches next door's itch
It's a pantomime at fever pitch
And we can all be in it
People here are large as life
They know the whole world and his wife
From a razor's edge to a kitchen knife
They'll be glad to help you
I love this town of hidden charms
Where no one means you any harm
And if you sleep through false alarms
No one here would blame you
I love this town on the beaten track
Where nothing slips between the cracks
Her rent's arrears his heart attack
Now isn't that a shame
Everyone's friendly to your face
And everybody knows their place
As long as you respect their s***e
You won't have to worry
The town hall clock is calling out
It's rush hour on the roundabout
Now I know without a doubt
It's the place for me
I love this town the dirty streets
It's a merry-go-round with broken seats
Where silk and lace and satin sheets
Are only dirty washing
I love this town down on its knees
It's going under by degrees
Still we can do just as we please
As long as no one's watching
I love this town, I love this town
I love this town, I love this town
I love this town of the living dead
I love this town gonna paint it red
If I can spare a minute
I love this town where curtains twitch
Where this door scratches next door's itch
It's a pantomime at fever pitch
And we can all be in it
People here are large as life
They know the whole world and his wife
From a razor's edge to a kitchen knife
They'll be glad to help you
I love this town of hidden charms
Where no one means you any harm
And if you sleep through false alarms
No one here would blame you
I love this town on the beaten track
Where nothing slips between the cracks
Her rent's arrears his heart attack
Now isn't that a shame
Everyone's friendly to your face
And everybody knows their place
As long as you respect their s***e
You won't have to worry
The town hall clock is calling out
It's rush hour on the roundabout
Now I know without a doubt
It's the place for me
I love this town the dirty streets
It's a merry-go-round with broken seats
Where silk and lace and satin sheets
Are only dirty washing
I love this town down on its knees
It's going under by degrees
Still we can do just as we please
As long as no one's watching
I love this town, I love this town
I love this town, I love this town