John Cleese as a "psychotic" panhandler approaches "victim" Graham Chapman...
J: Uh, Spare 10p for a cupaholic, sir?
G: I'm sorry?
J: Uh, all right, sir. Uh, spare 10p for the fare home, sir?
G: Go away.
J: Uh, sir, sir. Uh, spare a tenner for a bottle of champagne, sir?
G: What?
J: Spare a tenner for a bottle of champagne, sir? For a powerful young psychopath, sir?
G: Psychopath?
J: Yes, sir, for a huge psychopathic youth who's not only short o' money, sir, but almost completely unable to control his murderous impulses, sir.
G: Oh, well, ah...
J: Ohhhhhh...
G: What is it?
J: Mmmm...I can feel it building up, sir. Ohhh dear..
G: What?
J: Ohh...Senseless violence! ..Mmmm...Ohhh..Another dreadful outburst is on it's way, I fear...ohh...Sorry, sir. Quick, quick, gimme some cash sir, quick...woohh..Quick, sir! It's the only thing that helps...
G: All right, there you are.
J: Here comes the red mist..mmmmm...**** sir, quick! Gimme some more...
G: (panicking) Well there's some more. Take it. Go on.
J: Sir, sir, sorry..
G: What?!
J: That isn't enough, sir...ohhhh...Oh, I really am sorry, sir...Aah, this won't do any good at all, sir. Quick, quick! Gimme some more, sir!
G: Well, how much?!?
J: Oh, ooh, ooooh...This is a bad one...Ooh!...You'd better give me everything you've got to be on the safe side with this one, sir...
G: (freaking out) All right, take this, take it! Do you take Barclaycards?
J: Ohhh..yes, sir...ohhhhh..I'm really sorry it had to be you that copped the attack like this...ooohhh...Gimme the travelers checks too, sir...
G: Take my watch as well! There you are!
J: OHHHHHRRR! Quick, gimme the (unintelligible) be okay for a few seconds, sir. OHHHRRR! Pop it sir, pop it sir, quick, now, while there's still time!
(continuous ominous groans, during which time, the victim gets away)
(short pause)
J: (after regaining composure) And the best thing about it is...it's totally uncurable. (Stavro Arrgolus)
J: Uh, Spare 10p for a cupaholic, sir?
G: I'm sorry?
J: Uh, all right, sir. Uh, spare 10p for the fare home, sir?
G: Go away.
J: Uh, sir, sir. Uh, spare a tenner for a bottle of champagne, sir?
G: What?
J: Spare a tenner for a bottle of champagne, sir? For a powerful young psychopath, sir?
G: Psychopath?
J: Yes, sir, for a huge psychopathic youth who's not only short o' money, sir, but almost completely unable to control his murderous impulses, sir.
G: Oh, well, ah...
J: Ohhhhhh...
G: What is it?
J: Mmmm...I can feel it building up, sir. Ohhh dear..
G: What?
J: Ohh...Senseless violence! ..Mmmm...Ohhh..Another dreadful outburst is on it's way, I fear...ohh...Sorry, sir. Quick, quick, gimme some cash sir, quick...woohh..Quick, sir! It's the only thing that helps...
G: All right, there you are.
J: Here comes the red mist..mmmmm...**** sir, quick! Gimme some more...
G: (panicking) Well there's some more. Take it. Go on.
J: Sir, sir, sorry..
G: What?!
J: That isn't enough, sir...ohhhh...Oh, I really am sorry, sir...Aah, this won't do any good at all, sir. Quick, quick! Gimme some more, sir!
G: Well, how much?!?
J: Oh, ooh, ooooh...This is a bad one...Ooh!...You'd better give me everything you've got to be on the safe side with this one, sir...
G: (freaking out) All right, take this, take it! Do you take Barclaycards?
J: Ohhh..yes, sir...ohhhhh..I'm really sorry it had to be you that copped the attack like this...ooohhh...Gimme the travelers checks too, sir...
G: Take my watch as well! There you are!
J: OHHHHHRRR! Quick, gimme the (unintelligible) be okay for a few seconds, sir. OHHHRRR! Pop it sir, pop it sir, quick, now, while there's still time!
(continuous ominous groans, during which time, the victim gets away)
(short pause)
J: (after regaining composure) And the best thing about it is...it's totally uncurable. (Stavro Arrgolus)