Aware of student safety he left three prefects in charge
Of the bonfire of recorders which he'd lit in the school yard
He strode into the staff room to applause
They knew today's the day that he had finally been and bought
Fifteen ukeleles for the school, fifteen untried music teaching tools
Fifteen chances he could get the sack, fifteen ukeleles and a match
The children, they all loved it 'cause it's easy and it's fun
The other teachers opened their doors so that they could sing along
The parents made a fuss at the PTA
Until the classicist Headmaster found himself begrudged to say
We need thirty ukeleles urgently, thirty ukeleles to fulfil forecasted needs
If it carries on like this we'll end up cancelling PE, bring me thirty ukeleles ASAP
Schools in the same authority were soon following their lead
Music shops ran out of stocks as it spread through families
But their appeal was by no means unanimous
There were a lot of strong letters in the local press
From concerned music buffs
Saying Ban these ukeleles right away
They're not a proper instrument, they're too easy to play
They're too portable, affordable, open to anyone - ban these ukeleles,
They look like fun
Well of course nobody listened to this miserable elite
Before too long the sound of strumming rang through every street
And though I woke to find it was a dream
It could become reality, the only thing we need
Is a single ukelele to begin
To see why ukelele players wear such silly grins
Then a hundred then a thousand until suddenly we find
We've got a million ukeleles and a million smiles
Oh a million ukeleles play in time
A million ukeleles from Isle Of Wight to Isle Of Skye
We need a million signatures, a million letters to MPS
Saying a million ukeleles - we'd like them, please
Of the bonfire of recorders which he'd lit in the school yard
He strode into the staff room to applause
They knew today's the day that he had finally been and bought
Fifteen ukeleles for the school, fifteen untried music teaching tools
Fifteen chances he could get the sack, fifteen ukeleles and a match
The children, they all loved it 'cause it's easy and it's fun
The other teachers opened their doors so that they could sing along
The parents made a fuss at the PTA
Until the classicist Headmaster found himself begrudged to say
We need thirty ukeleles urgently, thirty ukeleles to fulfil forecasted needs
If it carries on like this we'll end up cancelling PE, bring me thirty ukeleles ASAP
Schools in the same authority were soon following their lead
Music shops ran out of stocks as it spread through families
But their appeal was by no means unanimous
There were a lot of strong letters in the local press
From concerned music buffs
Saying Ban these ukeleles right away
They're not a proper instrument, they're too easy to play
They're too portable, affordable, open to anyone - ban these ukeleles,
They look like fun
Well of course nobody listened to this miserable elite
Before too long the sound of strumming rang through every street
And though I woke to find it was a dream
It could become reality, the only thing we need
Is a single ukelele to begin
To see why ukelele players wear such silly grins
Then a hundred then a thousand until suddenly we find
We've got a million ukeleles and a million smiles
Oh a million ukeleles play in time
A million ukeleles from Isle Of Wight to Isle Of Skye
We need a million signatures, a million letters to MPS
Saying a million ukeleles - we'd like them, please