Anything Goes (Bonus Track) Lyrics

Times have changed
And we've often rewound the clock
Since the Puritans got a shock
When they landed on Plymouth Rock
If today
Any shock they should try to stem,
'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock
Plymouth Rock should land on them
In olden days a glimpse of stocking
Was looked on as something shocking
But now, God knows, anything goes

Good authors too who once knew better words
Now only use four letter words
Writing prose, anything goes

The world has gone mad today
And good's bad today
And black's white today
And day's night today
When most guys today
That women prize today
Are just silly gigolos
And though I'm not a great romancer
I know that I'm bound to answer
When you propose
Anything goes
When grandmamma whose age is eighty
In night clubs is getting matey with gigolos
Anything goes

If driving fast cars you like
If low bars you like
If old hymns you like
If bare limbs you like
If Mae West you like
Or me undressed you like
Well, nobody will oppose!
When every night
The set that's smart
Is intruding in nudist parties in studios
Anything goes
If saying your prayers you like
If green pears you like
If old chairs you like
If back stairs you like
If love affairs you like
With young bears you like
Well, nobody will oppose!

And though I'm not a great romancer
I know that I'm bound to answer
When you propose
Anything goes
Anything goes
Anything goes
Anything goes