Ill never be an emo vampire
Setting tweenaged loins on fire
Ive got nothing in common with the vampires of today
They gaze at girls
and pout and brood
and then just run away
This Twilight hack thinks she can come along
and change the Vampire rules
I guess sleeping in coffins and wearing capes
suddenly isnt cool
Girls wont climb up trees with me
or canoodle in the grass
And when I play Vampire baseball
I always get picked last
VAMPIRE
ah come on
seriously dudes
Thats a human you just picked over me.
Ive seduced all kinds of women from all over the world
But now the only dates I get
are with chunky gothic girls
When did all these Vampires
become abstinent and whiny
When I walk into the sun
I dont get all bright and shiny
Vampires dont have purity rings
like undead Jonas Brothers
If I cant score with these high school girls
perhaps Ill go for their mothers
VAMPIRE
Why not? When youre 600 years old theres no such thing as a cougar.
Ill never be an emo vampire
Setting tweenaged loins on fire
Ill have no participation
In this vampire p****fication
So wake me up when the world grows a pair of fangs
VAMPIRE
You thought I was going to say b**** didnt you?
Setting tweenaged loins on fire
Ive got nothing in common with the vampires of today
They gaze at girls
and pout and brood
and then just run away
This Twilight hack thinks she can come along
and change the Vampire rules
I guess sleeping in coffins and wearing capes
suddenly isnt cool
Girls wont climb up trees with me
or canoodle in the grass
And when I play Vampire baseball
I always get picked last
VAMPIRE
ah come on
seriously dudes
Thats a human you just picked over me.
Ive seduced all kinds of women from all over the world
But now the only dates I get
are with chunky gothic girls
When did all these Vampires
become abstinent and whiny
When I walk into the sun
I dont get all bright and shiny
Vampires dont have purity rings
like undead Jonas Brothers
If I cant score with these high school girls
perhaps Ill go for their mothers
VAMPIRE
Why not? When youre 600 years old theres no such thing as a cougar.
Ill never be an emo vampire
Setting tweenaged loins on fire
Ill have no participation
In this vampire p****fication
So wake me up when the world grows a pair of fangs
VAMPIRE
You thought I was going to say b**** didnt you?